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#31 sierra

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Posted 09 January 2008 - 12:33 PM

^^^^ laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif ^^^^



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#32 squidge

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Posted 09 January 2008 - 10:36 PM

QUOTE(Rustysmum @ Jan 8 2008, 04:04 PM) View Post

You are such a good boy to go to the toilet every morning and afternoon in your gravel spot, so why oh why must you insist on leaving a large steamer on the freshly mowed back lawn every week just after daddy has mowed it?


laugh.gif Ewwww!

As for pets watching while we're naked etc, Toffee is always interested in getting in to the bathroom when we're in there, very weird! As for 'private time', we always make sure she's in her room before we do anything wink.gif

And summer haircuts take me back to the days of our old fluffy cat - we used to get her tummy shaved in summer for comfort, then one year we got all her fur except head, paws and tail shaved and OMG I laughed like crazy! laugh.gif I felt guilty when I swear she gave me this look that said "yea thanks for that, you make me feel sooooo good about myself now *sigh*" laugh.gif

Dear Toffee,

I know you are a kitten but please stop getting in to everything and play with everything we are paying attention to such as the ruler and pencil on our house plans etc. Also, can you get out of the pillow cushion I have my lap top on right now? Your scratching around is a bit annoying LOL

#33 Tazz

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Posted 09 January 2008 - 11:52 PM

Dearest Fat Bob,
This obsession with the dish cloth is getting a little frustrating buddy. What is it with the bloody dishcloth. Why is it that every day when I get home I can never find the dishcloth on the sink where I left it? Is it because you enjoy the 10 minute hide & seek game while mum searches the house to find it? Because you know what? Mum doesn't enjoy it, especially when you have oh so delightfully pulled it out of a sink full of water & left it soaking wet on the carpet in the study. Bad move fat boy!!

Your loving mother xxx



#34 CBL

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Posted 10 January 2008 - 09:04 AM

Dear Patch,

You know mummy and daddy are doing a detox and trying to be healthy. This includes exercise. So, when mummy takes you for a walk in the morning, please consider not stopping to pee on every single tree, wall or gutter. It makes it difficult to get her heart rate up. Also try not stopping dead when mummy trys not to let you stop, you weigh nearly 30 kgs and mummy looks stupid trying to pull a dog up the road who refuses to budge.
Oh and one last point, we only walk around the block, it takes maybe 20 mins - why do you need to poop twice? Is it that you love watching mummy gag while picking it up?

Love Mummy

#35 Leapstar

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Posted 10 January 2008 - 03:08 PM

These are just priceless laugh.gif

Dear Buggerlugs,

Firstly my darling, mummy is not a human couch. Mummy sitting down herself does not mean that you must immediately weld yourself (via unsheathed claws) to her anatomy. I know that you have this whole thing going whereby the more uncomfortable I am the more comfortable you are, and while I appreciate your grasping the whole physics concept of every action having an equal and opposite reaction, I too would like to be able to relax in comfort from time to time. Please??? Work with me on this one!!

Secondly, this whole Daddy favoritism thing must stop. I know that you are Daddy's little girl, but behaving like a complete angel for Daddy whilst acting like a demon with mummy is just not on. For example, when you try to sleep with Daddy, he gets a kiss from you on the face and then you curl up nice as you please on the foot of the bed near him and leave him time and space to sleep himself.
I on the other hand seem to be the fairground attraction, suffocation target.
My face is NOT a slippery dip and does not have a sign posted above it that says "HERE IS THE SLIP AND SLIDE". You are a cat and should be nimble. Why suddenly, when you decide to sleep with me, you loose all ability to maintain your traction and walk over and over my face with your paws sliding in every which direction I have yet been unable to fathom. When eventually 1/4 an hour later you finally tire of your little game, I do not appreciate having my mouth and nose covered by a fat furry belly. Oxegen is a requirement that I have not been able to figure out a way to do without. For this I most humbly apologise and will continue to work on that little problem biggrin.gif
Also when you let daddy cradle you like a little baby in his arms on your back with all your legs stretched out, and then wriggle worm like I am hurting you when mummy tries to hold you the same way, this hurts my feelings, you are mummy's baby too and she would like to be able to cuddle you as such.

Lastly for today... Dinner time is -7.30pm - 8.30pm during daylight savings and 6.30pm to 7.30pm during non daylights savings time. It does not get served any time from 3.00pm onwards. Your plaintive cries and rushing towards the laundry where you dinner bowl is kept are not going to make me cave in and feed you early. Trying to get between my legs, trip me up and break my neck is not going to make any difference either. If you succeeded in this evil plan, I can assure you that you will NOT end up with a nicer mummy (who by definition feeds you earlier than I do)no matter what, and will most likely end up with a wicked step mother and ugly step sisters who will make you live outside.

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Merry Christmas!!

#36 L's Angel

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 10:03 AM

Hehe - Love all these stories - I have one for my darling today.

Dearest Sophie

I realise yesterday was hot and therefore you drank a lot of water, and I know you never go to the toilet inside unless you absolutely have to...But, my darling, mopping up a lake of doggie week is not something I enjoy doing first thing in the morning. How on earth did you manage to fit SO MUCH pee in your little self anyway - It looked like an elephant had visited my kitchen!

So, precious puppy, please remember to go outside BEFORE bed time - The door was open, you had ample opportunity - Heck, you'd even been outside presumably to wee, only an hour before bed! You know all the cues for bedtime and yet you didn't go out to wee because no one came with you. Now that you are a big girl, I shouldn't have to take you outside every night and shut the door, waiting with you until you pee - 2 years worth of this should have taught you that before we go to bed, we have to pee.

In summary, please take responsibility for peeing before bed time - Or at the very least - just learn to hold on an extra 10 minutes cos I'm pretty sure you did it just before I got up!

On a positive note, thank you for peeing on the tiles rather then the carpet - At least I could mop it up easily.

And, yes, I still love you - So there was no need to give me that sad "I'm sorry mummy, I didn't mean to, I'm so ashamed" look - I know how bad you feel - but soulful, sad, beagle puppy eyes don't make morning pee mopping any less icky. They just make me feel guilty.

Lotsa love
Mummy


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#37 lizzums

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 10:19 AM

Dear Joey,

You have molested the teddy for the last time. Big brown ted is being put up on the top shelf where you cant have your way with him.
And dont even think about turning your attentions to Tully she is to tiny. If you have to just wait until Matilda is around she is more than happy to accomodate you.

Love from the Mum of to many sexually frustrated cats and dogs.

#38 ~Jessica~

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 10:22 AM

oh dear liz... that does not sound like fun!!!
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#39 lizzums

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 10:25 AM

I cant believe I just told my dog to have sex with the cat. I think I really do need to go home am to sick to be here and am saying weird shit

#40 L's Angel

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 10:37 AM

QUOTE(lizzums @ Jan 11 2008, 11:25 AM) View Post

I cant believe I just told my dog to have sex with the cat. I think I really do need to go home am to sick to be here and am saying weird shit


Oh dear...I don't know whether to feel sorry for the dog, the cat, or you!
Hope you are feeling better soon!
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#41 belinda_mac17

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 02:28 PM

Dear Lily,

I know today was supposed to be 'you and me day' but I'm sorry that I had to go see Nanna and Poppy. However, it was not nice of you to punish me by peeing from one end of the house to the other (thankfully we have floorboards)

Instead of coming home for cuddles, which I was looking forward to, I've spent the last 1/2 hour cleaning up after you while you sulk outside in the rain.

In the future, please try to remember that Mummy and Daddy always come home and would love to have playtime with you rather than being cranky at you.

Love Mummy xxx

#42 squidge

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 08:52 PM

QUOTE(lizzums @ Jan 11 2008, 11:25 AM) View Post

I cant believe I just told my dog to have sex with the cat. I think I really do need to go home am to sick to be here and am saying weird shit


I hope you feel better soon but I had to laugh at telling a dog to have sex with the cat laugh.gif

#43 turtle

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Posted 12 January 2008 - 12:25 AM

Dear Ringo,

please stop squarking in the morning... every single morning to be let out of your cage -- especially 20 mins before i have to hop out of bed to get ready for work. I know you're awake -- i can hear you! but do you really need to get out of the cage? mummy and daddy just spent a fortune on a nice big cage so you have plenty of room to play and flap about -- so why do u need to get out of it so frikken early every single morning???

luv mummy
I'm Free!!!

#44 lizzums

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Posted 13 January 2008 - 09:58 AM

Dear Tully,

Mummy is really really sick at the moment and flat out moving and having trouble with being dizzy when she does move. Please dont shadow mummy at the moment darling. Your screaming when I knelt on your leg just before has left mummy in tears and feeling like the worst mum in the world.
I love you darling I just dont to be around you at the moment.

Love your upset and sick mummy

#45 ~Jessica~

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Posted 13 January 2008 - 10:01 AM

Dear Loki,

I know you don't like the sound of the bottle when we spray you but Tuppy gave you fleas so we need to spray you to get rid of them!! Also.. I am pretty sure cats are not meant to taste Mango, Nectarine and Cheesecake. I would appreciate if you would stop licking my bowl when I am done with it smile.gif

Many Thanks

Mum
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