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Dreaming of another (real) man


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#1 Dew

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 06:25 AM

Every night almost for 2 weeks I dream of this guy. Close friend of the grooms that i admit there has been a little crush on for years, nothing too over the top though. But yes maybe my feet are cold I don't know.

In the dreams we are sitting in his car (totally hot car) and we are talking and btw we really can talk well you know the deap and meaningfuls in real life.

Anyhow in the next dream we are doing the same thing but HOLDING HANDS... and last night it was the same but he also told me he had always really loved me.

I don't know what my heads doing to me but I am not one to hold in emotion and I want to talk to him about how I feel and just to clear my head as the wedding is in 4 days now, but it could bite me on the ass if he tells the groom, but I'd just hate not knowing if he really liked me back too.

I don't want to cheat and I wouldn't do that I want to however clear the air, and dreams. Ugh! Help!

See what happens when I don't have a temazapan with all this stress and anxiety lol.
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#2 Puggie

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 06:37 AM

Sorry - I am not quite clear here. Are you talking about telling him you fancy him in your dream, or do you mean telling him about your feelings in real life?

QUOTE(Dew @ Nov 6 2007, 07:25 AM) View Post

I want to talk to him about how I feel and just to clear my head as the wedding is in 4 days now, but it could bite me on the ass if he tells the groom, but I'd just hate not knowing if he really liked me back too.

Reading this it appears you are talking about the latter, in which case I must say alarm bells are ringing for me. I can't counsel you on whether it's best to keep your silence or discuss your feelings with this fellow. 4 days before your wedding does seem a strange time to discuss your long term feelings for the groom's best mate, though. That said, if you DO feel this way, maybe it needs to be discussed and out in the open - before you make a committment to someone else?

Best wishes - not an easy decision.

#3 Dew

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 06:44 AM

Thanks Puggie, I have mentioned this to the groom because I cant hide anything and dont like hiding things as such.

In the dream mr 'X' he knows we love each other but in real life I don't know if he knows so much that Ilike him. Id love to tell him in real life but the consequences if he told my fiancee might bite my ass too hard.
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#4 Kell

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 07:02 AM

Am a little lost. You would like to tell the guy you love him but you don't want your fiancee to know? But if you love this other guy then now is when your fiance should know!! I don't really understand whats going on here. blink.gif
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#5 Dew

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 09:47 AM

I dont know whats going on either. I'm totally confused, probably just a case of cold feet.
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#6 L's Angel

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 09:59 AM

I think you need to figure out if your feelings for him in the dream are real - Or if they are just the mixed up ramblings of a subconscious mind. If you have genuine feelings for him, that's something you need to sort out before your wedding. For the sake of everyone involved.

If you just have a bit of a crush on him IRL but are dreaming about much deeper feelings then I would wonder if this is just stress and emotions causing weird combinations in your dreams.

Try to think about what this dream might mean, most dreams are not just random thoughts they have some meaning based on things going on in our lives, thoughts or stresses, and symbolic representation of things/people in our lives. For example, dreaming about your wedding and maybe seeing yourself turn up naked because IRL you are worried that your gown won't be finished on time.

Dreaming of another person does not necessarily mean you want to be with them - It could be concern about the changes marriage will bring, it could be that inkling of doubt known as cold feet, it could just be hormonal. Only you will be able to figure this out though.

I don't think you can do much until you are sure what your true feelings are and where the dream feelings end and the real feelings begin - Good luck - I'm sure this is difficult and confusing for you.
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#7 Dew

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 03:44 PM

L's Angel your really sweet, what you say makes perfect sense. I think it is just all the emotion ad stress and anxiety as well as exams and the fact the guy is hot anyway as well as my fiancee being spunky thats just too much for one stress pot.

I will let you know what develops.
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#8 ***Jo***

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Posted 06 November 2007 - 04:15 PM

If you had a choice and the hot guy in your dream said to you in real life 'how about it?' would you be tempted?

You can look into your dreams as much as you want, but I do believe dreams like this (especially before the wedding) is the sub-conscious way of letting go of our singlehood to become a married woman. That's just my overall general view as I firmly believe getting married is a rite of passage.

Before you started having the dreams, did you feel attracted to the guy in question? Or was it the dreams that have spurred on your thinking?


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#9 creative

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Posted 08 November 2007 - 08:48 AM

Seeing as its a repetitive dream, there must be something to sort out on some level or another. You need to establish if its true feelings for someone else, or if its simply cold feet/stress/doubts. Like Jo, I think that marriage may be bringing up ideas of letting go of your single life.

Your wedding is so close, so I hope you find the answers you're looking for. Best of luck x
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#10 kelz

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Posted 08 November 2007 - 11:12 AM

QUOTE
You can look into your dreams as much as you want, but I do believe dreams like this (especially before the wedding) is the sub-conscious way of letting go of our singlehood to become a married woman. That's just my overall general view as I firmly believe getting married is a rite of passage.


I had so many repetitive cheating dreams before i got married its amazing. There was even a thread about it not so long ago.

I really think that you're reading too much into it, once you are married you will find that you have made the best choice and you will start wondering how you could have ever doubted yourself.

Besides, imagine what sort of position you would be leaving everyone in if you do attempt to clear things up. Its not worth it hun, especially if it really is nothing.

I think you need to relax and chill out a little, the lead up to the wedding is known to be stressful and your nerves and emotions are so obviously all over the place.

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