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I am shattered and hurting so much


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#16 familyof4

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 01:55 PM

Megan hun

Thanks so much, I feel less silly and more normal now smile.gif I suppose alot of people do go through this, I think though I am still in the frame of mind where I believe (or would like to believe) that I am the only one.

In the last day though the pain has dulled some, it is just so hard to believe that he was the negative in our relationship and he has manage to keep his life on track. He is having the baby we were planning but its not with me.

I wouldn't go back to him in a million years but at the same time I wish I was with someone, cause its not just the baby thing it is the whole alone thing, and I am really starting to hate it.

12 months is a long time being alone when your whole adult life you have been with someone sad.gif
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#17 Profile Removed

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 02:03 PM

I know how it feels hun. It's like I lost my faith in Karma and the world. You put up with so much shit and negativity from someone and take solace in the thought of them getting paid-back for their actions... then it doesn't happen; it's shatters you as it did with me.

It has nothing to do with wanting him back, but it has everything to do with that unanswered "WHY" to the world. Why did he get this? What did he do to deserve it? Why, why, why...

Unfortunately we never get the answer smacked in the face, but we have a chance to make our lives far happier. You may not see it now hun, but yours will be. One day you'll look back on this and start asking yourself why you reacted the way you did, because you know deep down inside that you are far better without him, and now someone else is stuck with him wink.gif

#18 familyof4

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 02:19 PM

WHY????? Is exactly the problem, but I am avoiding this question as much as possible cause when I ask this question then the what if's? start.

What if he hadn't become so awful, what if we had stayed together, what if we never married etc

Grrr why is it that regardless of whether it is our personal lives or the court system the bad guy always seems to get the best deal ??????

That was another why!
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Posted 04 July 2007 - 02:25 PM

I don't know hun, I wish I did sad.gif

Just keep focussing on the negatives that he gave you... I found it so much easier when I did that. It may seem wrong, but eventually it made me see that I was so much better off.

The situation sucks hun, I don't deny that, but there's nothing you can do about it - another thing I hated (the no control part). Just focus on your gorgeous children and use your anger towards something else (ie. use it as motivation to improve yourself; do a course, gain new friends, start going out a bit, PAMPER YOURSELF!)

You are worth a hell of a lot more than you tell yourself hun, honestly.

#20 familyof4

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 03:39 PM

I just feel sorry for the girl he is with, because she has no idea what he is like because he is putting on the angel front that I got for 3 years before cracks started happening with us.

So hope karma bites him big time but treats her nice, cause whenever he gets nasty at me she tells him to stop being a poo head (in a few more ruder words than that)


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#21 tastebud

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 05:14 PM

familyof3

I am always struck by how honest and courageous you appear in your posts and today is no different.

I have no advice but that news certainly is a lot to stomach and I think it a purely natural part of grieving your marriage etc.

Please be gentle with yourself during this time smile.gif

#22 familyof4

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 06:23 PM

QUOTE(tastebud @ Jul 4 2007, 06:14 PM) View Post

familyof3

I am always struck by how honest and courageous you appear in your posts and today is no different.

I have no advice but that news certainly is a lot to stomach and I think it a purely natural part of grieving your marriage etc.

Please be gentle with yourself during this time smile.gif



Thanks for that beautiful comment. I try so hard to be honest with people because I in turn expect the same back smile.gif

Besides what is the point in lying to people or bending the truth you eventually get found out and it is either you or someone else that ends up getting hurt from it.

I am trying to be kind to myself as I know that above all else walking away from the marriage was the smart thing to do. But it still hurts heaps and it hurts that he can still hurt me like this when he isn't even here. But I am past the wanting to dig a deep hole and hide in it so thats a start smile.gif


Everyone thanks so much for the support it has really helped

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