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I am shattered and hurting so much


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#1 familyof4

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 05:24 PM

I found out on Sunday that my ex is expecting with his new partner. They have been together since October last year and we haven't been seperated a year yet. (Will be a year on the 6th)

So since Saturday morning I have gone through, S
hock (OMG he is going to be a dad again)
Anger (after I was told by Isabel that daddy was having a baby I called to make sure Isabel wasn't just confused only to be told it was none of my f***ing business.......)
and now deep sadness over the fact that he is having another child and I am not, the fact that before we seperated we had planned to start TTC this year and now he is having a baby and I am missing out.

Everytime I think I am ontop of the emotion and stuff something happens for the flood gates to re-open, why can't alll the shit stop so that I can have a chance to truely move on.

Sorry girls I will come back and read this soon and make sure I have made sense. If you read this then thanks and if you have a comment please go ahead cause I am so lost at the moment.

Oh and any suggestions on how to work Isabel into this would be great. Cause she is already asking if this baby will be her sister/brother and if they will live her with us and all that stuff and I just don;t know what to tell her.
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#2 *Michelle*

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 05:29 PM

Honey,
I dont have any wise words at all Im afraid..it would be hard to see him move on and on to somewhere you hoped to be..

But remember why you did what you did??You did what was best for yourself and your beautiful children..I know you wanted another baby but deep down I know you know that would have been a mistake at the time.

I know it isnt much consellation but oneday you will meet someone and you will have that other baby and it will be well worth the wait..

hugs for you
xxx
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#3 Arial

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 05:35 PM

^^^^^^
What Michelle said. I can really hear the pain in your post, please take care. Remember there is a knight in shining armor waiting somewhere for you.
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#4 * Kylie *

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 05:38 PM

Oh sweetheart, that is shattering news. sad.gif I have no real advice except that I agree with Michelle, you did it for a reason.

You will be in my prayers, that you WILL get through this. I know it must be incredibly painful.

xx
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#5 Clio

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 05:45 PM

I am so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine the sort of pain you are in right now. The other ladies are right, you are no longer in a relationship with him for a reason. Just keep reminding yourself that and hopefully with time the pain will ease.
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That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing, but I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog!

#6 Mrs.JJ

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 05:52 PM

Have PM'ed you sweetie!
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#7 BumbleBee

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 05:55 PM

I have no advice to give sorry, but just wanted to acknowledge that I had read your post, and my heart goes out to you. i do agree with what Clio posted - you are not in a relationship with him for a reason'.

I hope time eases your pain.

K
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#8 *Ali*

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 06:39 PM

Oh darlin, I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine how hard it would be for you.

I have absolutely no advice I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you & if you need anything, PM me!

xoxoxoxoox
Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#9 familyof4

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 06:50 PM

Thanks girls, I feel so stupid for letting this upset me, as I am so happy I am no longer with him, at the same time I am crushed beyond messure. When I got the news on Saturday I felt worse than when I walked away from our marriage. I just can't believe that even now he is out of my life he can still cause me pain.

I think I need someone to hold my chin up for a while


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#10 Profile Removed

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 07:35 PM

OMG Hun!! I'm sorry it took me so long to see this post.
I went through the exact emotions with Jon when I found out he and Robyn were expecting; it wasn't that I wasn't over him, but I got so upset over Logan having a brother/sister that I've not given him that I couldn't think straight, I was so lost.

PM me anytime sweetie, you know I'm here for you, anytime wink.gif

#11 chelley

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 07:46 PM

I just wanted to let you know that I have seen your post and am thinking of you.

Sometimes the hurt can just come in waves, so just be kind to yourself and remind yourself that you and your children are much better off.

I would answer your daughters questions simply and honestly as she asks them since your ex is not modelling to her how to communicate well.

Hoping someone who can treat you like you deserve is right around your corner
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#12 choc-chip

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Posted 03 July 2007 - 12:21 AM

QUOTE(chelley @ Jul 2 2007, 08:46 PM) View Post

I would answer your daughters questions simply and honestly as she asks them since your ex is not modelling to her how to communicate well.

I don't have a lot of advice but was going to say the same as Chelley re; your daughter. I would just tell her the truth (simple version) & answer honestly.

Big hugs sweet, I can imagine it must come as an awful shock.
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#13 SamIam

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Posted 03 July 2007 - 11:06 AM

QUOTE(familyof3 @ Jul 2 2007, 06:50 PM) View Post

Thanks girls, I feel so stupid for letting this upset me, as I am so happy I am no longer with him, at the same time I am crushed beyond messure. When I got the news on Saturday I felt worse than when I walked away from our marriage. I just can't believe that even now he is out of my life he can still cause me pain.

I think I need someone to hold my chin up for a while


Oh hon, you are not stupid for letting it get to you, don't think that!

You're a strong woman who walked away for a reason, remember that and even though this is tough to deal with right now, over time it will be easier.

((((BIG HUGS)))) to you
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#14 L's Angel

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Posted 03 July 2007 - 11:50 AM

I don't have any advice for you - just offering support.
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Posted 04 July 2007 - 01:43 PM

Saw this and thought of you hun:

http://womansday.nin....aspx?id=275908

Kate Ritchie's baby heartacheFriday, June 29, 2007
Kate Ritchie put on a brave face when her ex-boyfriend phoned to tell her he's set to become a father. But friends say the Home And Away star has been rocked by the news.

While she told rugby league player Chris Walker she was thrilled when he telephoned to say his new girlfriend Courtney Hammond was having his baby, her emotions were bittersweet because she's desperate for a baby of her own.

Relationship experts say it's perfectly natural for her to be left feeling shocked and slightly jealous about her ex's big news.

Kate is happy for Chris, but like most people she will probably have mixed feelings about how quickly he has moved on and embarked on fatherhood, according to author and relationships expert Dr Cindy Pan.

"It would be natural if Kate felt a bit of jealousy, because even if there are practical reasons why she might not want a baby herself, there are biological instincts in most women to fall pregnant and have children," Cindy says.

"While Kate might wonder, 'What was wrong with me?' and 'Why couldn't he have done this with me?' she needs to remember that no relationship is perfect and this new one will come with its own risks."



Not so much for the celebrity status, but the points that Dr Cindy Pan mentioned; what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I'm sure you already knew that, but i'd hate for you to be upset at yourself because of how you feel and the emotions you're going through...

Thinking of you...




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