Posted 27 June 2007 - 05:24 PM
But my mother thinks it's inappropriate! Just wondering how many of you think I've done the right thing?
My ex was an abusive, adulterous person, but his family (apart from his sister) think he left me because I couldn't do housework to his standard - apparently the fact that he never came home and I was being treated for depression because when he was there he was throwing things at me, and when he wasn't home he was sleeping with someone else are irrelevant.
So I've stayed in contact with his younger sister, and she and I stay at each other's place when we are in town, my kids love her, and she's coming to my wedding.
Now in her defence, my mother thinks the reason I shouldn't invite her is that she may feel uncomfortable, because my friends know her (but as ex's sister). I don't think she would, and I think that if she didn't want to come she'd have used the "I live interstate and it's too far" excuse, rather than being all excited.
So what do you all think?
Posted 27 June 2007 - 05:35 PM
Posted 27 June 2007 - 05:41 PM
Asking the ex parents in law would be a different story.
Hehe! My ex's parents came to our engagement party and wedding. They flew from Perth > Melbourne for each
I am extremely close with my ex's Mum and Dad. When my ex's Mum discovered she had breast cancer, she rang me first. When she or they come to Melbourne, they stay with us (not their son). My ex's father was the usher at our wedding (he really wanted to be part of it in some way) and had TEARS IN HIS EYES when he got ready to open the doors before I went down the aisle. The last thing he said before I was married was 'Sweetheart - you look absolutely beautiful' . The ex's Mum came to my final fittings, hens lunch etc. They came over a week before the wedding to help out with final preparations...
My husband's folks are fine with it. They understand the ex's parents don't want me back with ex (they were the ones who said to leave him ). My folks are OK with it too - when we were talking with wedding vendors/at fittings etc. we called ex's Mum my 'aunt'. Hubby is fine with it - he knows I am close with them, and they love him to bits
Do whatever suits you and your circumstances
Posted 27 June 2007 - 05:53 PM
Posted 27 June 2007 - 05:54 PM
Posted 27 June 2007 - 06:02 PM
I haven't seen them since we split up (over 5 years) and the only way I know what they think of me is that she rang my father once years ago - he was too gobsmacked to say anything.
If they were there I might be tempted to tell them the real story about their golden child after a few drinks, and I don't think that would be good for anybody!
Thanks for reinforcing what I thought anyway, girls.
Posted 27 June 2007 - 06:05 PM
Posted 27 June 2007 - 06:09 PM
Hehe I meant for Ruth it would be a bad idea to invite her ex PIL's..... I am glad you are still close to yours
Is ok - I figured that's what you meant I was just using my situation as an illustration.
Posted 27 June 2007 - 08:09 PM
Just because she is your ex's sister shouldnt mean shes less of a friend ! A friends a friend in my eyes
Angel #2 grew wings August 2006
TTC #1 Since July 2000
Posted 28 June 2007 - 09:56 AM
Puggie I love your story about your ex's parents, thats so wonderful
Posted 28 June 2007 - 01:02 PM
I personally wouldn't invite my ex's parents or any of his family. I was honestly in two minds about what to do with the card that they sent (and the one from my ex too)... This family still think that I was the one who was wrong by leaving (leaving an abusive - physically and emotionally abusive - partner).
These are the people I would cross the street to avoid...
But my situation is different to others - so like I said - if your friends then they can join in with your day too.
Posted 01 July 2007 - 06:46 AM
Just explain to your mum and your friends that even though she is the sister of your ex that is not what she means to you, she is a close friend and that when they see her they should see her as a friend and not as a relative to your ex and that they should give her a chance and make her feel wlecome and comfortable at the wedding.
It is hard when ex-inlaws or even the ex are still part of your life (my husband has in-laws their not close anymore but we all still speak when we see each other except the ex wife as she is not so nice to me or my husband and likes to leave us with a credit debt 5 years after the split and say things about my husbands family that she shouldn't say but that is another thread and alot of cocktails as they will help make me laugh and not cry- my shout girls )
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