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Kids at the wedding

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#1 Ali&Rod



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Posted 18 June 2007 - 03:54 PM

Hi All;

We are looking at the invite list for our wedding and realise we have a large number of cousins and friends with kids in the 3 - 17 age bracket.

I'd love to invite them all, but we have limited seating and we'll be cutting back on mates as it is. So we have decided to not invite anyone under 18 and also cull a couple of cousins we don't see very often.

A couple of questions:
1. What is the best way to let people know that the tin lids can't come to the reception
2. Should we provide a babysitter (all the people with kids will have to travel a fair distance to attend, so i think we probably should) I could even pay one of the older cousins to do the job, get pizzas and some dvds - or is this too much pressure to put on a 17 year old - there might be 25 kids to babysit (a good catholic family laugh.gif
3. The reception venue (Mt Keira in Wollongong) doesn't have a seperate room we could have set up for the kids, do you think it is reasonable to say to parents that if they stay at a certain motel/hotel then a babysitter will be provided
4. there will be a couple of people (my sister included) who will have babies under 12mths - would it be ok for them to bring the bub as long as they were in a basket (I have no idea what the correct terminology is for the car seat things that people carry their babies in!) I'd be dirty if the venue charged us for babies who don't take up a seat.

Thanks for any advice you can give

#2 Simone76


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Posted 18 June 2007 - 04:15 PM


I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be to you, but we are in the same spot as you. We're not inviting anyone under 18 either. But for us it's more that the place isn't 'kid friendly' for the real little ones, so we thought it best to exclude them all.

We haven't figured out the correct wording as yet but we'll be putting something on the invite so that there can be no slip ups!.

I don't think you should have to pay for babysitters for them all. If they were going to a friends wedding and not a family members, I'm sure that the friend wouldn't pay for a babysitter.

I read one article suggesting that the best way to write it was to suggest that a night out without the kids would be relaxing for all. Most people I know are looking forward to having a night out without having to worry about getting the kids home to bed.

Told you I wouldn't be much help on the matter!!!

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#3 Swarles Barkley

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 04:44 PM

im not sure on how good i will be on giving advise, as we have offended a few people on this matter (im not very caring though tongue.gif )

if we were to invite all our cousins and thier associated family we would have a guest list in excess of 200! instead we chose to invite the cousins we have something to do with (ie they are the same age and we talk to them) and it means we only invite 7 of them and have just over 100.

I am personally not providing a babysitter, as i dont think it is something i should have to organise, and that if i were a parent i dont think i would like to leave my child with a stranger that i didnt source myself (providing it wasnt a cousin). i also think 25 kids might be too much for 1 17 year old! surely parents could be able to roganise kids to stay with friends for one night.

And as for the venue charging for kids under 12 months, i would highly doubt it, as they arent eating a propper meal. our venue is happy to not charge us for the 3 kids under 12 months, and are only charging us 1/3rd menu price for the few little kids we have invited (neice and nephew). Ask them though. Also ask if they allow the parents to heat food in the microwave if need be, or heat bottles (it might be nicer if you ask frist).

good luck hon.
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#4 kirsty23



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Posted 19 June 2007 - 10:34 PM

I dont know if this will help you.
My brother got married in march this year and his WIFE decided that they wouldnt have any children there (which Is fair enough) however sadly she decided that she wouldnt invite the cousins that MY brother grew up with because SHE doesnt really see the that mucj however when it came to her family she invited whom she wanted. Sadly this caused arguments between my brother and my parents. My parents believed that 2 of my cousins whome he has grown up with attend however when he mentioned this to his wife he was told to back off. the cousin is 23 and the other is 19.
Sadly they werent invited and it was a little dissaponting.

But having said this I am getting married in September 08 and my H2B have decided that we would only be inviting those cosins that are over the age of 18 mostly because i have a close relationship with them,

So i guess i am really agreeing with you in saying that weddings arent a PLACE for children and unless they are over 18 then i wouldnt invite them This may put some ppls noses out of joint but what they have to understand is that we are paying for the wedding ourselves and we want it to be a ADULT weddin and not have children running around when they might get under ppls feet. The only children that will be attending my wedding is my SISTER who is 13 and my 2 year old daughter and thats all.


#5 pinkbutterfly


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Posted 19 June 2007 - 10:45 PM

I can't imagine any venue would charge you to have babies who are sleeping in their pram at the reception!!!

I think it is a great idea to provide a babysitter. But if it is 25 kids, you might want to think about 2 or 3 people to look after that many. Perhaps you could look at booking out a room or conference room at a local motel and having all the kids minded there, and parents can pick them up after the reception. Those with older kids might get them to stay with friends etc so you wont have to look after so many...

We only had 4 kids to knock back comeing to our wedding and it put soooo many noses out of joint, and people who it didnt even effect!!! So be prepared for backlash, but stick to your guns.
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#6 Mooze


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Posted 20 June 2007 - 04:39 PM

We'll be doing kids by invite only. Few reasons:
- some kids coming from OS
- a couple from interstate
- some relo's of mine don't know how to control their children, and will leave screaming in the middle of the reception marquee whilst they go have a dance and a drink (been done at the last family wedding).

A few will get their noses put out, but thats fine - our wedding, our way - especially as its at a bush setting.

#7 Sarah'81


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Posted 20 June 2007 - 09:35 PM

We're not having any guests under 18 either, so on the invites we will just have the parents names. Then on the RSVP card there will be a box where you put the number of guests attending, so I can double check that they have realized which people were invited.

#8 Nyree



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Posted 21 June 2007 - 10:26 AM

QUOTE(Mooze @ Jun 20 2007, 04:39 PM) View Post

A few will get their noses put out, but thats fine - our wedding, our way - especially as its at a bush setting.

I agree with Mooze... your wedding, your way.

We had kids at our wedding but that was because the venue was kid friendly and I have a very young family on mums side.

Sorry I haven't given any advice on wording... good luck smile.gif

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#9 MrsF



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Posted 23 June 2007 - 09:42 AM

On our invitations we had written something to the effect of .. By request no children under 12 .... You would be surprised though, how many parents would take the opportunity for a night to themselves ! All our guests loved it !
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#10 patricia


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Posted 28 June 2007 - 08:15 AM

THis might not be much help but we where in a similiar boat as you, the thing with us though was that i just didn't want kids there running a muck because they where bored. The other thing is we invited all kids that are in the family so it was just no friends kids,

Our daughter was just under 2 when we got married and I have a brother and sister 9 and 12 and i couldn't see my wedding with out them and then all my nieces and nephews are also importmant to me and then we had my cousins 2 children and i love them to bits also, i guess because over half of my family lives in Spain my family is very close and even though i hardley see my cousins that live here because live is hectic and we live an hour apart we are still close, the only kids outside of the family i was willing to invite where the under 12months as i know what its like to have an under 12month old and they wheren't goingto cost me anything as the venue was happy to make vegie bowls free of charge but all my friends said they wanted a night out so everyone was happy

At some stages i did hope that the real little kidlets wheren't at the reception but that is only because they where under 3 at the time and i knew they could all get babysat by someone that wasn't attending the wedding like the inlaws but at the end they all fell asleep in their prams after dinner

As for the ones under 12months they should have high chairs at the venue if not the parents will most likley brings prams
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#11 ~amie~



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Posted 28 June 2007 - 09:21 AM

We had no children at ours either. There were two mums who were a little upset by this (my aunt who is crazy and i only just met about a year ago was upset that i didn't invite my cousins) and a lady from our church (that was was a little tricky as she has 4 children 3 of which hubby and I are both close friends with but one who I have never met and hubby never speaks to so 3/4 children were invited but I figured they were invited seperatly as friends not as so and so's children.

We had 2 babies under 12months (ours and a friends) but they were no trouble at all.

#12 DazznSam


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Posted 28 June 2007 - 09:41 AM

We are allowing kids at our wedding, only because my sister is pregnant and we are going to have the little one involved in the wedding. The other kids that are coming are all of a good enough age to know how to behave, as most of them do amuse themselves... I have been out to dinner a few times with the parents and the kids, and the kids are great. They sit down and tell us things and do as they are told when they are out, so I guess we are lucky.
Before my sis got pregnant, I wrote out a little thing to put in the invites to say no kids, we put
"Please don’t ask us if your Children Can attend the wedding and reception, because no matter how much we love them, we are going to Have to say “no”. It is going to be a formal occasion for adults, to celebrate the next step in our lives. Thank you and sorry for any inconvenience" You could then say we will have a baby sitter available if you decide to, as I think it is a great idea!

#13 dele


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Posted 12 July 2007 - 09:57 AM

We only had kids from our immediate family so brothers/sisters/nephews/nieces.

For anyone outside of that group the invitation was in the adults names only. I think that unless you specifically name the children on the invite or put something like "and family" that people should not just assume their kids are invited and most of our guests were fine with this.

Also, I didn't even consider babysitters. Personally I would rather organise my own babysitter than know my child/ren were with up to 25 other kids being looked after by one person. JMO. Kids can get really out of control when you get a group of them together and the last thing you want is teenage babysitters ringing every 10 mins because they can't control them. If you do get a babysitter I would organise a few professional adults. Kids are less likely to play up for strangers than their own families (even extended family).

I know after our wedding so many people commented on how great it was to have a night to themselves as a couple without the kids and a lot of them also had the kids babysat over night so they didn't have to rush home and could make a real night of it. (Most of them went out to a local hotel and partied the night away)

Good luck.

#14 waskatiemark



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Posted 13 July 2007 - 11:18 AM


I am going completely against the majority here.

We had kids at our wedding ranging from my then 5 month old son, to my 16 year old cousins the ages were 4, 5 x 2, 6 x1, 7 x 2, 8 x1, 10 x 2, 12 x 3, 15 x2.

They had an absolute ball. A few of them did run amoke at one stage but my step mum just had a quiet word to them and pulled them back in line. Alot of the grown ups that were there said that the kids helped to keep the night going. They were ALWAYS dancing and playing, you should have seen them get into the Hokey Pokey.

I would not have had it any other way. They were all my cousins or kids of friends, and their kids are friends of my own children. I think having your own kids makes a bit of a difference.

There were some ppl who took the opportunity to have a night out without kids, but others bought them. None of them played up during the cermony and I had put some stuff on the table for them to do.

When the club cleaned up they said that none of it had been touched.

Well that is my 2 cents worth.

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#15 ~Sally~


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Posted 13 July 2007 - 01:04 PM

We were happy to invite kids to our wedding. I think only 1 family found a baby sitter for 1 of their children, but they brought the bub (still BF)

So we had my kids 4 and 6
BM and GM kids 4 and 9
Other GM kid 10
Niece and Nephew - 6 and 8
Friends children - 7 and 10
Other friends child - 9
Cousins kids - 5 and 7
Other cousin - 3
and newborn baby

They were all spread around the room with their parents except for mine who sat with my parents

I provided colouring in books, toys, special things for them. So before their meals they could play and chat with each other and during the speeches they could do the same thing.

Once the music started they had a ball dancing. And we didn't have one problem all night.

I can understand why sometimes people want a kid free night, but in my family my kids are always included no matter what we do.


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