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I'm so clueless about starting over...


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#1 Freshstart

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 07:00 AM

Hi girls
i am brand new to this forum... recommended by someone who came here for something much happier than me - i.e. a wedding!
a little bit about me - i was with my ex for 6.5 years. i thought we'd get married, he obviously didn't, so when i got sick of waiting and he pretty much just told me he didn't want to marry me, i made possibly the hardest decision of my life and got out of there.
so that was a few months ago now and i'm starting to get back into the whole dating thing, but i have no idea how it works any more. did anyone else find this? i just have no idea when to text/call/whatever - its horrible. i don't know whether i'm going to seem too keen or be just interested enough!
and now i feel like i've made a total idiot of myuself with this guy i met. he and i were flirting and over the course of about 3 months we were sort of moving towards something happening (yes it's slow going due to work commitments) and then i saw him last week and it looked like he was with someone else!!!
so now, because we kind of work tohgether, i don't know what to do... i don't really care so much that nothing is happening because i'm not sure how much i liked him anyway, but i would like to just clear the air because of us having to see each other...
should i just email him and say "i hope we're cool and can work together/socilaise together without any tension" ? or shoudl i just leave it?
sorry for the essay!
i hope you girls who are a bit more intelligent at these things can help me... i'm LOST!! thanks in advance

Sally

#2 tianakaesha

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 09:51 AM

If you were just flirting and nothing was happening, I would just leave it.

Maybe flirt a little here and there, show you are still interested, but leave the ball in his court.


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#3 nephthys

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 10:01 AM

Hi Sally! It's so hard starting out again isn't it!

If that guy hasn't shown any further interest, then move on from him. It's experiences like this that teach us things like control, patience and strength, so don't be embarrassed! We've all done these things and remember it's his loss, not yours. Don't email him, only contact him when you have to, keep your power and realise it's your call, not his.

My only advice would be to take each day as it comes. Keep it filled up with lots of interesting things like lifestyle classes, travel, going out and try not to think that being single is a bad thing or a 'waiting period', because it's not. It's a time for expression, growth and independence. When you aren't looking, the right guy will come along - it's usually the case anyway!

Good luck.
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#4 * MsSassy *

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 11:35 AM

QUOTE(nephthys @ Jun 18 2007, 10:01 AM) View Post


My only advice would be to take each day as it comes. Keep it filled up with lots of interesting things like lifestyle classes, travel, going out and try not to think that being single is a bad thing or a 'waiting period', because it's not. It's a time for expression, growth and independence. When you aren't looking, the right guy will come along - it's usually the case anyway!



Great advise!!!

#5 Freshstart

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 06:42 AM

Thanks girls. You are so right. it is his loss and i am really not so worried about it - just about how i look and how kinda humbling the experience was of being rejected! So i won't email him.

Nephthys your advise is really great, thanks for that. i know i am trying not to consider being single as a waiting period and have been enjoying the time i have to myself and with my galfriends. it's just when it actually comes time to interact with a guy i have no idea with how to "date".

i'll leanr, i know! it takes practice again. weird, very weird.

#6 Telle

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 06:51 AM

QUOTE(nephthys @ Jun 18 2007, 10:01 AM) View Post

My only advice would be to take each day as it comes. Keep it filled up with lots of interesting things like lifestyle classes, travel, going out and try not to think that being single is a bad thing or a 'waiting period', because it's not. It's a time for expression, growth and independence. When you aren't looking, the right guy will come along - it's usually the case anyway!


That is such amazing advice. smile.gif

Sally - I just wanted to wish you all the best on your new journey. I agree, don't email him, it would only make things awkward. xx

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#7 Freshstart

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Posted 21 June 2007 - 07:21 AM

Thanks Telle! i hope all my posts aren't like this and i'll be able to contribute positively to the forum (when i get time to come on here... fortunately my work is keeping me busy and keeping my mind off more depressing things!)




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