Hi ladies,
I am set to get married on SEPTEMBER 6th 08 and i cant wait... Preparing a wedding is suppose to be exciting but sadly its been a nightmare. I always hoped that my mum would be excited and happy for me but sadly she hasnt been anything but NEGATIVE. I know that i am not getting married for another 15 months but my H2B and I are paying for the lot ourselves and i really want to start looking at dresses and flowers etc etc which i think is a great idea mainly because this gives us a chance to work out what $$$ has to go were. Sadly all i get from my mum is "ITS TO EARLY YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT (thats the pot calling the kettle black) I am a size 18-20 i have gone from a size 24-26. It seems no matter what i say or do its always negative...
My aunty thinks its fantastic that i want to start looking and she will come with me and give me her opinon but it just wont be the same.
THen there is my inlaws to be complaing about who i have in my bridal party i just cant seem to win either way. So over everything.

SOrry ladies just feeling really low and needed to get this off my chest.

Hi Kirsty,

That would really suck I reckon! 15 months is probably a good time to start looking and getting ideas.. I started actually trying things on around the 12 month mark, and being a bigger girl (16-18) it took me quite a while to find things I actually liked, before settling on a style and finding an awesome dress maker.

For some reasons weddings seem to have the potential to bring out the worst in family, as everyone has ideas about how the day should go, what you should/shouldn't look like and who should be involved.

My advice would be, try and do what ever makes you happy!

Think about your bridal party and think about it some more before you ask anyone to be in it (at lot of girls, myself included) have had a lot of stress with people in the bridal party. The more people, the more cost, the more opinions, the more stress.

I went and had a look at some dresses by myself first of all and saved bringing my mum along until I had found a few that I liked.. That way I didn't get too much pressure, just (luckily) opinions of what they looked like on (which were 'that looks beautiful' and 'lovely' and 'that looks a lot like your sisters dress' etc).

Maybe your mum is hoping trying dresses on could be some kind of goal/reward for weight loss?

Either way, great effort in losing the weight - I'm sure you will be beautiful on your wedding day no matter if you lose anything further or not.

do what makes you happy hon.

if you want to shop for dresses now, shop. it doesnt hurt to find out what you like and wht looks good early on. it also gives you an idea of the cost and time to save. just cos your looking now doesnt mean you have to order it now.

i would sit down and tell my mum that she is being negative and to keep her opinions to herself, btu thats just me.

As for inlaws complaining about your bridal party, this i can understand. ours stated that we COULDNT have brians best mate in the bridal party, as they dont like him. in the end we told them that he was in the bridal party and to deal with it (he wasnt, brian let his parents influence his decision about the bridal party )

It is your day, you plan it the way you want! I find a lot of people get funny about weddings (especially family), I don't know if it is a jealousy thing, or they just want the best for you. Dress shopping is daunting enough, so it doesn't hurt to go now and have a look around and see what style suits you - because it is usually not what you expect! It doesn't mean you have to decide right now!

And once again, it is your day, so have who you like in your bridal party!

Well done of the weight loss to date! You will see in this forum that all brides are gorgeous no matter what size they are!

I am so sorry that your mum isnt being supportive, you certainly dont need this extra stress.

Last year approx 4 months out from our original wedding dat hubby lost 25kgs in a matter of 2 months, he lost it in a very unhealthy way...needless to say thats when all the pressure fell on me and everybody started commenting on how great hubby will look and I will look like a frump !!!

At first it made me extremely upset until I spoke to hubby, he said that he loves me the way I am and would never put any pressure on me to lose weight. To cut a long story short, I remained the same amount of weight until our wedding day a couple of weeks ago, let me tell you, Ive never felt so stress free and relaxed...I completely enjoyed my day, instead of worrying about my weight and the way I would look ( I did that for my first wedding and didnt enjoy my day ).

So my advice to you, is do what you want, just make yourself happy, cause in the end its your special day !

Hope this has helped

I say take your Aunty shopping and leave your Mum at home!! As others have said, do what makes YOU happy!!

A grest big thank you to all of you. It has been so stressful i am just suck of eveyone being negative. its great to know that there is support out there