Hi all, just a vent and share some information for those not yet married. This is not intended to be a debate on who should change their name, and the rights and wrongs of that. Everyone can decide for themselves which way they want to go.

I am married (have been for a while!), and Jon wants to take on my surname. This is because I have a son who has my maiden name and I don't want to have a different name to my child. Jon loves the idea of changing his name to mine, so it's all good, or so we thought.

We went into Service Tasmania today which does BD&M and driver's licences etc, most government type things, to change Jon's name on his drivers licence using the official marriage certificate. Here we were politely informed that a woman can change her name upon marriage for free by using the marriage certificate as proof to change her name on all documents, driver's licence and cards etc. BUT a man does not have the same right. He cannot change his name as a result of marriage and instead must pay $133 to change his name and be issued a Change of Name Certificate. He can then use that certificate to change his name on all his documentation and cards etc. This process does not reflect that he is changing his name as a result of marriage, he could be picking any random name.

I asked the lady very nicely upon which law was this based. She said it is not based on anything legal (I already knew that), simply tradition/custom that is written into the policies etc. I made the obvious comment that if that gender bias was applied to a woman it would have been scrapped by now. It does have a consequence for women too, because the decision of who's name to take would be affected by that large sum of money for a lot of people, and in the moment the woman is likely to take the man's name because of the inhibiting costs involved to do otherwise. Yes, they could just keep their original names, but a lot of people like to have the same name as their spouse, and one they can share with their children thus creating a family name.

I am actually quite disgusted that such a gender biased piece of policy still stands. A woman's birth name is no more expendable than a man's, but it seems that the government would still very much prefer that only women leave their name behind at marriage, also leaving forward-thinking men less freedom to choose.

GRRRRRR to them I say!! We will pay it if we have to, but we will also be making a point of this issue in various ways at the same time.

Will get off my soap box now, but I am just really bothered by this and thought others might find this information useful or interesting or like me, infuriating!

(Editted to clarify that we are in Tas etc)

I agree Jo, a lot of things like this are based on archaic traditions, nothing really substansial. We have come a long way with equal rights, but this shows we still have a LONG way to go.

I understand your frustration, and admire your hubby for wanting to have the same name as you and your son - your family is helping pave the way to equality!

Thats crap. It should be that one party (either male or female) can change their name for free upon marriage! That makes sense to me!

I never realised this bias existed, I always just assumed it was the same process whether it be the wife taking on the husbands name or vice versa. Someone in that department must realise the illogicalness of it all and start changing things.

I agree that's ridiculous jo.
It's probably still like that though because no-one has really challenged it before. Maybe you can be the one who causes it to change!
In these days of gender equality, i can't imagine that such an archaic policy could stick around for long with a bit of a fight.

Well why don't we take action? Is there a contact email address we can write to to let them know we think this is wrong? Surely if they get a certain amount of interest in a subject they would have to look into it. If enough of us take a stand we might have some power to help change this.


ETA - here is the email for them if anyone wants to speak up ..... bdm-webmail@agd.nsw.gov.au

I have written to them and will wait to see what reply I get from them.

I agree with Lisa to take action - we can make a petition, email our local members etc

I believe the same $$ has to be paid if the woman wants to keep her maiden name and add her DH's name

bah! Government Departments!!!

How utterly ridiculous, you would think in this day and age they would have a provision for a man to change his name to his Wife's, it's not that unusual anymore. I wouldn't settle for that, I'd be writing letters

I'll sign a petition

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the support! Jon is very upset about it too as you can imagine! We are already working on a mass mailout to politicians and BD&M and one for the newspaper, and I love the fact you are all getting onto your local people in support of this inequality! I am just so thrilled for the support and I hope together we can change this.

I think that is ridiculous and I will happily sign a petition.

I think of Brett (beachwedding) who has recently changed his surname to be the same as his partner. Now, of course his marriage isn't recognised legally but it's the same and he should have been able to change his name for free, I'm sure he would have also paid.

It's pretty sad in this day and age isn't it.

I agree, we all need to take a stand!

Exactly, those two have a bigger mountain to climb with getting their rights to be married, and this certainly would impact them as well.

It's sexual discrimination - just against the males rather than females..

It's horrible!

That's ridiculous.

I was just typing up a quick email to support your cause to the email address moore posted, realising it is for nsw.....

Just confirming Jo - are you referring to Tasmanian BDM? Not sure if there is a difference anyhow but would like it to be to the correct recipient.......?

Maybe it's something that needs to be tackled Australia wide? If they have the same rules around Australia I for one think they all need to wake up & smell the 21st century!

That just isn't logical at all - It's not like it costs $133 more to process a form with a mans name on it rather then a womans. I think it's wonderful he's taking your name to create a family name and I certainly don't understand why he should be penalised.

Yep I am in Tassie, but I seriously doubt it would be different anywhere else. Thankyou so much for putting in the effort.

I won't send the email then JIC. But happy to sign any petition or whatever you need....

I will however speak to my cousin as she works at NSW BDM.

Thanks, I will be interested to hear if this is the same everywhere, or if I just live in backward land!

Nope.

That would be me!

I always assumed that you could just change your name legally via deed poll?? I know you can't change your name via deed poll in Queensland anymore but I thought we were the only state that had changed.

hhmm probably wrong though

However that leads me to a hypothetical .. inspired by celebrities who give their kids STUPID names!! If my parents legally named me Tigerlilly Bluebell Madonna at birth and when I turned 18 I wanted to change my name, would be then have to pay the $133 to change my name. In theory I would because my name is not being changed as a result of marriage.

That's terrible! If someone could work out who the appropriate federal minister is to send a petition, so that we all could be a part of this, I say let's go for it!

annajaye...

you can legally change your name via deed poll - but that costs money ($133 by the looks of the above posts).

If you change your name through marriage you do not have to pay... but only if you are female.

Nope as i keep my maiden name and added DH's and didnt have to pay anything


If a man wants to take his wife's name he should be able to just as easily as a wife takes the husbands name, what a croc

& only if yo take your husbands name i think (as in if you want to double-barrell you have to pay)

Does anyone know who the minister would be?

Exactly, anyone can change their name to anything, but you have to pay a lot for it once you have filled in the relevant forms.

A woman who is married can use the BD&M marriage certificate to go around and change her name to her husbands name on all her documents eg drivers licence, bank card, medicare, phone bills etc, thus changing her name. A man wanting to take his wife's name cannot do this, and requires $133 worth of Change of Name certificate before he can approach a business for a change of name on his d/licence, cards, accounts etc.

This is how it is in Tasmania, you would have to ask in other states, probably in person, because their websites don't make it clear.

It is shitting me no end!! Jon is very frustrated and not impressed at suddenly being the subject of gender discrimination!

Wow im a bit mystified by this. Youd think by now they would have changed it. Thats just ridicolous.

ETA i paid to obtain my marriage certificate to change my name. It wasnt anywhere near $133, but i still had to pay (and i was furious about that )

Yep I think we had to pay about $30 for ours, only to discover now that it is not useful at all for changing Jon's name, grrr. We were going to get the marriage certificate anyway, so not bothered by that cost as such.




Yep, if you want to change your name to something else other than your husbands name you would have to pay.

DISGRACEFUL!!! It's good to see the 1900's are still going strong!

Just had a quick search on the internet and it seems as if there is no fereral contact we can go to with a mass petition.

It looks like we need to go to each states BDM seperately. Perhaps someone out there who is good at stringing a few words together could do up a generic letter of complaint that we can all cut and paste to each BDM (who cares if we dont live there ourselves ).

Here is what I found during my search, the following website has the links for each states BDM.

http://www.caslon.com.au/registersnote1.htm

[quote
There is no single federal BDM register, although one was proposed in 1987 as part of moves towards the Australia Card. Access to some information, notably regarding adoptions, and regimes for recognition of gender reassignment thus vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Registration does not provide a unique identification number.

Key legislation is -

Australian Capital Territory - Births Deaths & Marriages Act 1997
New South Wales - Births, Deaths & Marriages Registration Act 1995
Northern Territory - Births, Deaths & Marriages Registration Act 1996
South Australia - Births, Deaths & Marriages Registration Act 1996
Tasmania - Births, Deaths & Marriages Registration Act 1999
Victoria - Births, Deaths & Marriages Registration Act 1996
Western Australia - Births, Deaths & Marriages Registration Act 1998
end quote]

Certainly not an issue in Victoria. Hubby changed his name to mine after we were married and only ever had to show our legal (BDM) marriage certificate as proof.

I would be seeking further clarification from a more senior person and requesting to see a copy of this supposed policy.

This is on the justice website. There is nothing at all saying that only the wife can do it.

Just regarding the whole changing name via deed poll, I believe that also changes your name on your birth certificate? So hence why marriage certificates are normally used, so that you keep your maiden name on your birth certificate as youve always had.

And good on Jon for wanting to change it Jo... and how bloody annoying and frustrating that its completely different and harder for men to change their surnames.

Oh Jo that's disgraceful! It's amazing how often men are discriminated against these days - I think now society is more aware of womens rights (thanks to our gutsy fore-mothers) but somehow our blokes seem to get the raw end of the deal on things like this. What crap!

if you hypenate(double barrell etc what ever you want to call it) then you dont have to pay as i hypenated my maiden name with my husband last name when we married and i didnt have to pay.

Jo, I really hope they do something about this. Keep us updated with any response/s you get. How about current affairs type shows?

Just to clarify the deed poll requirements for adding your husband's name to your own maiden name.

MOST name changes with institutions like banks etc will probably let you do this just with an official BDM marriage certificate BUT you will find if you go to get a passport, or change your name on one, with the new security measures it MUST be changed legally by deed poll, which you will need to pay for.

The exception is if you hypenate your name, in which case you don't need to. So for example if I had changed my name to Gidget Smith - Jones {not my real names!} it would have been free.

I did not want a hypenated last name though so just kept my maiden name as a middle name so:
Gidget Smith Jones, and I had to pay for the deed poll.

Then because you change it by deed poll rather than by marriage certificate {even though you changed it by deed poll BECAUSE of a marriage!} you need to also pay for a new passport when changing it to your new name, where as if you take your husband's name {or hyphenate it} they will exchange your old one into your new name for free.
So Jo, were Jon to change a passport name over, he would also need to pay for that.

This applies for any state, as a passport is issued by a Federal body.

Cassarilda, with the deed poll you actually get a 'Name Change Certificate' this supercedes your birth certificate, and unless you specifically ask, you do not get to even keep a copy of your original birth certificate {you have to hand it in to get your name change, and they reissue a new one with a notation on it saying it is superceded}.
The record of your original name {maiden name or whatever} only officially stands on the name change certificate as your previous name, the birth certificate no longer 'counts' as a record.
When I apply for anythign you would normally use a Birth Certificate with, IE when I applied for citizenship for Max under my ancestory, or whatever I do from now on, I now need to apply with my Name Change Certificate, not my Birth Certificate.

Thanks for that gidget.. question though: does the deed poll thingy, RE: passports, only apply if you ADD your husbands name to your maiden name (as you did, keeping your maiden name as you did) OR does it also apply if you REPLACE your maiden name with your husbands surname?

Cos Im pretty sure I only need an official BMD marriage cert for my passport app... But of course, taking into consideration differences in state laws... and I dont expect you to know everything

Sorry to hijack Jo. xox

YAYYYYYYY!!!!! WE WIN!!!! After sending emails to everyone I could think of yesterday, and being transferred all around BDM this morning and telling each of them what I think of gender discrimination, then started threatening law suits, I finally got to the top! They have apologised, and will go forth and educate the staff that it is not written into policy that it only applies to women, and they should cease telling people that before a discrimination case is filed against them. They recognise that is it outdated and unacceptable to still be telling people that and will recitfy the problem.

YAY!!!! Jon will be thrilled!!!

OMFG what an ordeal for something so simple. I hope this helps someone else along the way because dammit that sucked!! Hopefully they will do as they say and re-educate their frontline staff so no one else has to put up with this crap!!!

(ETA this post no longer relevant since they are no longer taking such a helpful stance)

EXCELLENT JO! So happy to hear that the 'little person' wins occasionally Let's hope that they educate their staff REALLY well!

Thats great news

Yay!! I hope so too!

I actually feel really really bad for the people who went in before us and paid the $133 just to get it done. OK so hopefully we have fixed the problem now, and the last man I talked to was extremely bothered and had a good understanding of discrimination, so was I pleased with that! He said obviously it is a horrific oversight that the staff are still doing that. You think!! I hate to think how many men have paid up for something they didn't have to in the belief that their rights differed from the woman's.

LOL welcome to my world.

I just changed my name so that i could take over geoffreys name and i had to do the same thing. it does suck but it is how it is ai guess. i makes me so angry also though.

what annoys me is that we live in bloody 2007 not 1807 things are different now its about damn time people can make ther own decisions on what they want to do not some outdated bloody law based on tradition..

p.s if he sends his birth certificate back with his application he will get anew one sent out with his new name with a little blog on the boton saying what his previous name was.

i love that he is changing his name it is sweet..

xxoo

Wow, that is amazingly awesome!! Well done Jo.

just read this you go girl that is FANTASTIC ..

xxoo

Yep, I got a peek into your troubles that's for sure. It is one thing to know it happens, it is another thing to have it applied to you directly. I have a new appreciation for what you must deal with, but I think it is great that you both have gone ahead anyway with the name change, that is lovely!

The sad thing here is even though I won my battle, I know that people like yourself are still battling and the resistance to that is far greater than what I encountered.

Snaps to you Jo, you rock!! Good on you!

Wow Jo, that is fantastic news. You should be SO proud of yourself for taking further action, SO many people would have just accepted it and paid the money. It's people like you, that take the time and effort, that improve processes and challenge stupid rules for everyone.

Well done

Well done Jo!! I'll be sure to think of you when I'm dealing with Tassie BDM after we get married

I sent Jon a message telling him the good news! His response was: My Love, what can I say, you are truly a Goddess!!

Hahaha I am a happy Goddess indeed. Not happy about the fuss it took to get there, but happy that we have hopefully spared other men from forking out money for something that is their right.

Woot! YOU ROCK JO!

Wow Jo, you are a goddess.

All I can add is Jo for Prime Minister