I'm just wondering what I'm doing is ok and not creating 'bad'habbits that everyone talks about. I know everyone does things differently and every bub is different I'm just a new mum with no idea and after some ideas.

So at the moment CJ is feeding every 2 hrs, we spend about 1hr during the day feed/cuddles etc then back to sleep and at night 30minutes feed and back to sleep. It has been taking anywhere upto 60 minutes to get her back to sleep most of the time with me cuddling her and the last few nights she has slept on me so I can have a bit of a snooze so I'm not getting much sleep atm and it is starting to catch up on me.

So occassionaly when she has a really good feed and falls asleep she will go straight down, on the odd occassion she will be happy to go down and put herself to sleep but most of the time I have to cuddle her ofter putting her down and getting her back up for cuddles and repeating it a few times.

Is this bad? am I creating bad habbits that everyone keeps on talking about I don't mind cuddling her for a while just not constantly.

And what about routines I'm pretty happy going with the flow evetually I would like to get into a routine so try to do the same sleep things to give her an idea, when did you start a routine how strict was it.

What did you do in the early weeks?

We cuddled Raff to sleep in the early weeks if he wouldn't settle on his own. He grew out of it and it didn't become a habit in his case.

To be honest, I think you just gotta do what you gotta do to get thru those first few weeks/months. Do what works for you now & worry about breaking those "bad" habits later. Unfortunately the sleep deprivation is just a part of it.

From memory, I think to start with we tried to put Ewan to bed awake, and then rock, pat or shoosh him in his bed til he was almost asleep. Eventually he started to fall asleep by himself.

Hope that helps?

Good luck

The first few weeks Isla would settle herself, we never cuddled her to sleep - although we did end up taking her on drives and pushing her around in the pram at ungodly hours of the morning to get her to drift off...

I remember taking her to the GP when her colic was realllllllly bad and he told me (which was probably a bunch of BS) but said that her problem with colic was "neurological" that she was too little to understand that she was digesting food and it would freak her out (she was almost 5 weeks early) and he suggested lots of skin to skin contact and cuddles and she'd be fine...

Unfortunately, it started a bad habit, where Isla was about 10 or 11 months and STILL needed to be cuddled to go to sleep

But I do believe that you have to do what you have to do!!

I'm with MacBeth...do whatever you have to now to get her to sleep!! At the moment, Makayla usually goes down drowzy after a quick cuddle and a rock. If she stirs we try to shush and stroke her back to sleep, not always successful, so if need be she gets cuddled to sleep.

mmm my husband thinks I've created "bad habits" for Sam

Sam wakes to feed during the night much more than he did as a newborn.

Dave wants me to introduce a routine for our next baby and he thinks i have to learn to be tougher on Sam

I like to go with the flow. Sam is a very happy contented baby who just happens to like to feed alot.

Don't really have any advice sorry

I agree with the others - in the first few months you just do what you have to do to keep both mother and baby happy!!

I cuddled Sophie to sleep a LOT in the first few weeks, much to the general disgust of my husband, his parents and my family!! I felt that at first they cannot 'learn' to sleep and just need cuddles to feel safe and secure. At about 2 months I started to do a routine of putting Sophie in her bed awake but drowsy and letting her try to settle herself and although the crying bit was very hard, she now settles herself to sleep 90% of the time and from 6 weeks slept 7-8 hours overnight.

My main advice would be - hang in there, it DOES get easier!! (Take that from a clueless new mum whose parenting philosophy is "wing it"!!) and don't listen to others who say that you will create a rod for your own back by cuddling them constantly etc.....just do what works for you and YOUR baby!!

Good luck with it all.

Hugs,
Joanne

My post is probably going to be a bit controversial. We introduced a routine very early. I would demand feed but was big on getting him to self settle. We would let him cry for very brief periods and then resettle. In the early days by cuddling him and then putting him back down awake, these days though we dont pick him up if he needs to be settled.

I can now put him down wide awake (but tired) and very rarely do I have to go back into him. I dont here a sound from him. He also sleeps 12 hours over night with me going in to rewrap usually at about 3am.

Right from the start we were big believers in if he was settled he didnt need to be cuddled. So if he was happy, fed and clean then he was on the floor kicking, in the bouncer or asleep. I think this really helped with our routine because he didnt get used to being handled all the time.

But you have to do what you have to do to get thru. If you are happy cuddling to sleep now, I agree with the others, and maybe try to break the habit when it becomes an issue.

good luck
Trish

According to the midwife i see at the clinic and the midwives told me when i was in hospital. You can not create bad habits for a baby that is 6 weeks and younger. After 6 weeks they get to understand and this is when the get in the habit ???

Now i dont know if this is true, but this is what i have been told by 3 different midwives ??

I knwo in the first few weeks we did just about anything to get him to sleep. But, I think it was around 3/4 weeks that I felt the same as you - thinking we were creating bad habits. So I put him onto a routine and put him down awake and just settled him in his bed if he got upset. It took sometime, but now i always put him down awake and he usually goes to sleep himself - maybe one re-settle on a good day. some times we still have to go in 5 times, but it is only really a few seconds we are in there for. at night, we don't re-settle at all now.

There are so many different opions and schools of thought on this - enough to drive you mad - frankly - I say, in those first few weeks - do whatever you need to to keep baby happy - esp in this weather and whatever you need to do to keep yourself as sane and as rested as you can be - if it is working for you now then stick with it.

Completely agree. This is my one piece of advice to new mums.

Maybe play a little with them rather than cuddle so it stimulates them and tires them out. This way they may be easier to get to self settle

I'm with Trish.

We taught Amelie to self settle right from the beginning and now she feeds every four hours and goes down first go without any settling. She also sleeps right up to the next feed as she knows how to settle herself inbetween sleep cycles.

She is a 'textbook' baby though so that made sticking to 'the rules' very easy.

I would recommend teaching self settling asap - it makes life so easy. And I know because Harrison still needs cuddles to sleep at 2 years old! He still wakes up at least once during the night and ends up in our bed as he still doesn't know how to self settle.

Nah, you're not creating a bad habit. You can't spoil a baby by too much cuddling

i agree with the others, you can't spoil them with too much attention and cuddles in the first few months.

As what everyone said as well, do whatever it is that makes you get through the days coz it is the toughest and also that's the only way you can enjoy motherhood and the early bonding with bub. Afterall they do grow up way too fast (I never believed this until i realised that it's been 6 months today since i had Nicholas wtf?!)

When i was in hospital i had a night where i ended up sleeping between feeds with Madison on my chest. The nurse came in early one morning and instantly i felt guilty and thought they were going to tell me off for "setting bad habits". I started apologising and the nurse told me not to be silly and said that you have to do what you have to do, especially in the first weeks and months.
You are no use to her when you are so exhausted you cant keep your eyes open, so if you can nap while she naps on you then go for it.

Madison is pretty good with her sleeps, but as soon as i could i made sure i was putting her down while she was still awake. I dont often have to re-settle her unless she hasnt burped after her feed (which often at night she doesnt like to do cause she is so sleepy). If this is the case, i pick her up, burp her and then put her down again. If she cries again ill give her the dummy and pat her while she is still laying down. This seems to work.

You are doing a great job Cricket