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helenaposs
We have had this survey in the General Baby Talk and thought that we would get the general feel from the whole of the i-do forum. This started from a discussion about co sleeping on Dr Phil and then it lead to his beliefs on breastfeeding in public.

Here is the link to the General Baby Talk section for anyone interested on the discussion there:

http://community.i-do.com.au/index.php?showtopic=49222
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As a breastfeeding Mum, I feed anywhere and everywhere. When I first started I would cover up but that was more because I couldn't attach Ava very well and boob was everywhere but now at 8 months of breastfeeding I don't cover up.

I live in a smallish country town and I do get quite a few stares but also smiles. We even have a few places that have 'Breastfeeding is welcome' stickers on their doors, which is great!

I don't feel like I should have to hide away from the world and if people have a problem they don't have to look.

Helena
Renee`
Good topic, I need to think before i vote simply because i an undecided, at times I do not care, but then sometimes i will see a mother who has no respect for the people around her and will flop her breast around for all to see..

if it is dont modestly i have no problem with it...
RachJack
As long as it is done tastefully then hey go for your life!!

Just like us children get hungry and if the source is a boob then so be it.

Liz.Wis
Don't shoot me down on this, but personally it's something i don't like to see, if you have to, i'd rather ppl go into a public parents room or similar.

It's not something I will do publically whe the time comes.

On the same issue, babies don't bother me so much, but i really don't like kids of about 3 or 4 being breastfed in public, i find it very offputting.

I'm not trying to cause any arguments, just stating my opinion.
*Michelle*
I have no problem what so ever..Why should someone have to hide away to feed there baby...?

Loulamai Belle
I have problems with this because my MIL didn't BF so when she's around (even her house) I feel uncomfortable. If there's a parents room & I have time to get there I will feed him there, but if he's hungry & wingey I'll do it anywhere (even standing (hiding) near the potatoes in coles) I won't do it in a tiolet, that's just gross.
ChrissyT
As long as you are not ducking up to the school at morning tea to feed your prep child, then go for it.

(yes that has happened mind yu)
-Megs-
QUOTE (ChrissyT @ Dec 6 2005, 07:41 PM)
As long as you are not ducking up to the school at morning tea to feed your prep child, then go for it.

(yes that has happened mind yu)

Are you serious??? blink.gif

Other than that extreme case, I'm all for breastfeeding and I think the same rules apply to breastfeeding as bottle feeding, if the bubba's hungry then the bubba's hungry, feed that beautiful bubba wherever you need/want to smile.gif
alaia
QUOTE (rachelmatt @ Dec 6 2005, 06:05 PM)
As long as it is done tastefully then hey go for your life!!

Just like us children get hungry and if the source is a boob then so be it.

I feel the same!

However, I was in a cafe just minding my own business when this lady flopped out her breast for her 4 year old. I was gobsmacked plus she was looking around to see if everyone was watching because that is what she wanted. The owners of the cafe told me she does it all the time and they knew how old the kid was because they said she went to the kindy down the road.
Vicki
whenever and whereever for me! Its incredibly sad though that it is frowned upon in public especially of toddlers but hey if you dont like it dont look! Its not like you can see anything anyway!

As for the comment re feeding in the parents room (and I assume bathroom when none is available) how would you feel eating your steak dinner on the toilet? That sounds a bit attacking and its not meant to be rather something you may not have thought of before smile.gif
alaia
QUOTE (vickichiki @ Dec 6 2005, 06:53 PM)
As for the comment re feeding in the parents room (and I assume bathroom when none is available) how would you feel eating your steak dinner on the toilet? That sounds a bit attacking and its not meant to be rather something you may not have thought of before smile.gif

laugh.gif you crack me up!

Now I am not a parent yet but can I ask is it abnormal for a 4 to 5 year old to still be breast fed???
*Michelle*
QUOTE (alaia @ Dec 6 2005, 07:00 PM)

Now I am not a parent yet but can I ask is it abnormal for a 4 to 5 year old to still be breast fed???

I find it strange but hey who knows...
My sister was at a friends house once and they got home and the 3 rd old had a happy meal from Maccas and after eating her cheesburger and fries crawled up and had some breast milk..I would find this slightly off putting..
**** Sarah and Adam ****
Well from where I am it doens't bother me in the slightest. I think it is rude if breastfeeding is not allowed but yet we are allowed to just eat however and wherever. I find some people eating more repulsive then a breast being used to feed a baby.

Vicki
QUOTE (alaia @ Dec 6 2005, 08:00 PM)
laugh.gif you crack me up!

Now I am not a parent yet but can I ask is it abnormal for a 4 to 5 year old to still be breast fed???

in our society people see it as 'weird' but

WHO recommend breastfeeding till at least the age of 2 and the world average is to breastfeed to the age of 4 so its our culture that sees it as weird which is a bit sad really sad.gif I know I have had comments about still bfing Abbi and she's only 17mths old!
Vicki
actually I will rephrase that

is it abnormal - no
is it frowned upon socially - yes

Having said that I will most likely only bf till Abbi is 3 or when *she* is ready to wean. The fertility specialist might have something to say about it but f*ck him yk I am not about to wean my child just so I can take drugs to have another so I may just skip taking the clomid (not telling him of course) and just use the gonal f which is safe while bfing wink.gif
Princessgirl
QUOTE (MichelleM7403 @ Dec 6 2005, 07:05 PM)
My sister was at a friends house once and they got home and the 3 rd old had a happy meal from Maccas and after eating her cheesburger and fries crawled up and had some breast milk..I would find this slightly off putting..

huh.gif Thats just wrong IMO Would the mother still have breastmilk when the child is that old?

It doesn't bother me in the slightest to see a mother breastfeeding. If you need to feed you child, then go ahead and do it anyway you want / need
*Michelle*
i think you would continue to make milk as long as the baby/child is feeding...Where I used to work a lady used to come in with her daughter who was about that age maybe a littel older..
I like you Aimee cant see a cheeseburger and fries washed down with a bit of breast milk all that thrilling.
Laurette
I dont have a problem with it at all, as long as it is done somewhat discreetly.

off to read the other thread...
* Kylie *
I think it's fine as long as it's done modestly. I feel uncomfortable sometimes when a mother pulls out her breast and starts feeding her baby, but that is MY problem , and I'm more uncomfortable because I don't know where to look!!! I freak out when my best friend starts feeding, but I just have to deal with it.

I have always said I'll be taking my baby off somewhere to feed him or her because I think I'll feel quite uncomfortable half stripping off in public. But I am fairly self conscious so I don't even do it now (not pull my breasts out in public!! but changing somewhere or whatever). Having said that though, when I'm finally a mum and my baby is relying on me I'll probably completely change my mind!

I do find it strange when older toddlers ar still being breast fed - that just seems odd to me. But again - don't shoot me down - I'm not a mother so I have no idea.
MrsJo
I saybreastfeeding in public is fine with me. As long as the mother is comfortable with it, then she should be able to feed her baby whereever necessary. Certainly should never have to feed baby in a toilet cubicle!

I breast fed my son, but only in parenting rooms, but that's because I wasn't comfy potentially exposing my breasts in public. That was just me though, I didn't trust that there weren't some pervo guys around taking advantage of the veiw, however briefly it might have been exposed! Also breastfeeding for me was not a smooth process, so I preferred a little more privacy.

As for breastfeeding a child older than 2, I do find it a little odd, just for me personally because thinking of my son at two years of age, there is no way I would want him to still be trying to feed off me! He was a healthy, robust child, and to me, if they are old enough to ask they are too old for the breast! After witnessing children walk up to their mothers and ask for a "boobie" or whatever the word of choice is, then try to pull up her shirt, I vowed to never feed a child old enough to name my breasts and ask for it! That's just me, I have no issue with others doing it!

It isn't necessary to their health at that stage either. Obviously breastmilk is always beneficial in a way, but not necessary by that stage. It is up to the mother and child when to wean, and as long as the mother isn't delaying the weaning process because of a personal attachment to the process, then all is well.

telfy
I don't mind it at all, I don't think that a mother should have to worry about what other people think, after all it is natural!! Saying that, I'd never really been around a breastfeeding mother until my boss had her baby this year. At first I didn't know where to look but she has always done it discretely.
gogogadgetgirl
QUOTE (Belladoah @ Dec 6 2005, 08:22 PM)
if they are old enough to ask they are too old for the breast!

I have heard this a lot but I wonder where the logic is?

I have always fed my son when he's asked for it, starting as a newborn.

Acquisition of verbal skills doesn't seem to be a good reason to force weaning. What if a baby develops their speech earlier or later than normal? Why does forced weaning have to coincide with "mehmehmeh" becoming "boobies" (or whatever word they use)?

mer

Alani
On the topic, has anyone actually said that people should only breastfeed in toilets? huh.gif Maybe I was skimming but I certainly didn't read any posts that said that. ph34r.gif
Vicki
in was one of the responses in the poll Alani
Amelia Jane
I'm with the majority here, I have no problem with it if it is done modestly. I'm fully intending to breastfeed my babies when I have them but I'd like to think I will make full use of parent rooms, or find a quiet spot to do it in.

I remember seeing a lady breastfeeding her baby in church one day. And there was a parents room RIGHT BEHIND HER! I pointed out it was there if she needed it, and she said, "Oh, no, that's okay," and kept right on doing it! That, to me is when it becomes offensive-I'm in a church, I don't want to see your boob.

Rosy
gogogadgetgirl
QUOTE (Rosy @ Dec 6 2005, 11:25 PM)
I'm in a church, I don't want to see your boob.


I'm sure the woman felt God would be cool with it, seeing as that's what He made them for and all.
Amelia Jane
Yeah, I understand what you're saying, I think it was more that fact that she wouldn't use the parent's room that irked me.

But that's my personal opinion, I know everyone has very different views on things like this. smile.gif
gogogadgetgirl
I guess parents rooms are there for those who do feel a bit shy in the early days, or whose babies could benefit from being away from distraction, or if there is a big comfy armchair that is nice to feed in.

Thing is, if you are seated perfectly comfortably outside a parents' room, and someone asks you to move away, that could actually be offensive to the nursing mother.
For one, the person is suggesting that what you are doing is icky or obscene and shouldn't be seen, when all you are doing is feeding your baby.
Secondly, it takes quite some arrangement sometimes to get seated and unclipped and latched on and settled. The last thing you want is someone telling you to stand up and move away. It is quite an affront actually.

I'm not meaning to attack or argue here, just offering some perspective from the other side. If a mother has chosen to nurse outside a parents' room, it would really be quite rude to suggest she shouldn't. Nursing mothers see these rooms as places to go for their benefit and comfort, not to make the general public less squeamish about seeing boobs being put to normal use, so if she feels she doesn't need this comfort, no-one should comment.

To a mum who breastfeeds several times a day, it is SUCH a normal event, so it would be akin to having set up your picnic rug and taken out all the plates and have someone come over and say "I don't like the colour of your wine glasses, could you go to the other side of the park please". How many people would comply?

I'd also like to just mention about the nursing toddler thing - someone mentioned about a mother in a cafe looking around to see if people were watching, saying she wanted them to see, or something? Well, I only have an almost-toddler, but I wanted to say I don't think people go out of their way to continue breastfeeding just to piss people off. However, if your child asks to nurse and you are in public, I would imagine you would look around. I mean, you know people are going to spot you, and you would try to act as normal as possible. But there is also the odd chance that for the last 3 years you have had to field unwanted and ignorant comments, so there is a good chance that if your child is still nursing publically at 4, you will have an almost defiant demenour, sort of "go on, I dare you to say something" attitude.

I know quite the handful of people (including the head doctor at our local hospital) who b/f their kids until school age. It is quite normal, but as kids get older I think they limit it to private nursing to protect their children from stupid comments. No-one wants their child to have to hear criticism about their favourite source of comfort! So anyway, it happens more than we think.

mer

Oh, and just on the parents' rooms, if you don't spend time in shopping malls (and Rosy's church), where are all these parents' rooms? What about at the beach, in the main street of a small country town, at a playgroup, a sports centre, a restaurant, a municiple swimming pool, a park?
MsGems
I'm fine with it as long as it's done modestly (as many others have said).

Have to admit - I got a bit of a surprise when I was in G0lo the other day, turned a corner and WHAMMO!! a baby stuck onto the boob... Baby wasn't covered up, neither was the breast (well, sort of). IMO - I'd cover up. But that's coming from someone who doesn't have any kids, so my attitude towards this may change when my time comes. But I think I'll try and do it as discreetly as possible (ie. If baby's hungry and I'm walking through km@rt, baby will get fed, but I'll cover up).
Starbuck

Anywhere, anytime. I will probably be a bit shy myself, at least at first, but I would like to think that mums and bubs would feel comfortable enough to feef around me

I personally find seeing mums smoking around their kids infinitely more offensive, but thats a whole other topic.
~~KylieB~~
I dont have a problem with mothers breastfeeding in public. As long as it is done tastefully (ie boobs not hanging out for everyone to see) most of the mothers I have seen are very discreet about it. As far as I see it, we dont hid in the toilets when it is our meal time, so why should a mother be forced to hid away just cause her baby is hungry
Tennille75
QUOTE (kermee @ Dec 7 2005, 07:53 AM)
Anywhere, anytime. I will probably be a bit shy myself, at least at first, but I would like to think that mums and bubs would feel comfortable enough to feef around me

I personally find seeing mums smoking around their kids infinitely more offensive, but thats a whole other topic.


I'm the same as this. I actually like to see a woman breast feeding in public. I don't think that toilets are a nice place to have to feed a baby. We wouldn't do it, so why should our babies?

Parents rooms are not always available. I only know of one in our main shopping mall in Adelaide, and I'm not able to trudge from one end of the mall to the other with an upset and hungry baby to get to the parents room. Having said that, I am shy about my own body and probably will cover up, at first anyway.

The smoking thing is definitely more offensive to me, but yes, it's another entire topic to be debated.
--M--
For me I dont mind, if bubs is hungry then go for it.

I do appreciate though that not everyone is comfortable seeing it.
Mrs M
As I posted in the other thread I vote for anywher anytime. With discretion.

I preferred to feed alone with Ben, In the cubicles in parents rooms, or at home or in the car as opposed to at a table in a restaurant with my family sitting around.

In fact I think that's the key for me. I didn't and still don't really feel that comfortable feeding around my dad, uncles, male cousions, and my dad's sons. (where as my brother i've always lived with No problem)

But I have fed in public before, in school auditoriums, restaurants etc. And I would always cover my nipple and aereola (sp?) as I feel they are the 'naughty' bits. and wear a nappy over my shoulder. Breastfeeding is nothing to be ashamed of.

On feeding a toddler. I just couldn't see myself feeding a child who was capable of walking over to me and asking for boobie. (In proper language KWIM?)
I could not imagine still BF Ben at 26 months blink.gif

It just doesn't seem 'normal' to me.

But that is just my own meandering opinions.



Leapstar
I think that its OK as long as its done discreetly and the woman is not just flopping it out for all to see.

The way that I see it, is that its a biological function and nothing to be ashamed of... but having said that, so is peeing and going for a poo!

Now think about how many of us would be offended if men just stood around floppin out their bits to perform a perfectly natural boilogical function? We would not appreciate it, and in fact you can be arrested for doing this!!

Now I don't think that women should ahve to skulk around and go into a special room for breastfeeding (like you would for a pee!!) but I think that respecting other people rights not to be confronted by something that may make them uncomfortable, and doing it discreetly while covered with a blanket/towel etc, is the right thing to do!!

I think thats what it boils down to for me, respect for others while breastfeeding!!
pezoma
Well said Leapstar

I don't have a problem with breastfeeding in public-- discreetly
lee_p
Ok on this "women flopping it out" thing. Does anyone actually believe that a woman is breast feeding just to flop it out and get attention??

I know with my niece, when she was breast feeding, she would often pull off leaving my SIL's nipple exposed for a second then she'd latch back on. It wasn't done to have her breast flopped out it is simply apart of breast feeding a baby. She would try to be a discrete as she could but sometimes you're probably going to see a little bit of nipple.

As you can probably tell I voted anytime, any where biggrin.gif Women were given breasts so that they could feed their children...there's nothing sexual about it.

I can understand a woman starting off being shy about BF in public but I think that's all because of social conditioning. I see nothing wrong with woman BF her baby where ever the baby needs it.

As for the woman BF in church...why should she have to miss out on being a part of the service just because she's doing what God intended her breasts to do??
lee_p
QUOTE (Leapstar @ Dec 7 2005, 09:39 AM)
The way that I see it, is that its a biological function and nothing to be ashamed of... but having said that, so is peeing and going for a poo!

Now think about how many of us would be offended if men just stood around floppin out their bits to perform a perfectly natural boilogical function? We would not appreciate it, and in fact you can be arrested for doing this!!

I don't think you can really put BF a child, which is their life source, and going to the toilet into the same category.
BettyBoop
I voted "anywhere, anytime", it doesn't bother me at all.

However, when I have children I'm not sure that I'll be doing it in public -I'm too self concious so will prob use the mother's room etc. That might change once I actually have a baby though!
Leapstar
QUOTE (lee_p @ Dec 7 2005, 09:08 AM)
Ok on this "women flopping it out" thing. Does anyone actually believe that a woman is breast feeding just to flop it out and get attention??


I have seen women do exactly that...
It's like they are trying to prove some point and are very in your face with it...
Granted most women are discreet and are not at all offensive!!

QUOTE
As for the woman BF in church...why should she have to miss out on being a part of the service just because she's doing what God intended her breasts to do??


I agree with this also.... I think that for sure that she should not have to miss out on the service... but what about a person going for a pee?? They are doing what god intended them to do with thier penis/vagina so why should they have to miss out on part of the service either??

As I said before, if its done in a modest and respectful fashion I think that its fine anytime anywhere, and if my accident you happen to expose a bit of breast for a second there is nothing wrong with it, but not to be blatent about it!!
helenaposs
QUOTE
Ok on this "women flopping it out" thing. Does anyone actually believe that a woman is breast feeding just to flop it out and get attention??


When I am out and about BF, you don't have to flop out your boob, I couldn't do that anyone as my breasts aren't that big biggrin.gif I am able to sort out my bra with my top down, in one swoop I can lift up my top, just above my nipple and attach Ava. You would have to be pretty quick to get a good look anyway.

In some cases you just don't have an opportunity to get to a parents room. There aren't any where I live so you just have to make do with what you can.

If you have a screaming baby who is hungry you are going to stop and feed him/her wherever you are and aren't going to try and make it to a Parent's room if one is available.

But you do have to do what is the most comfortable for you.

Helena
SoHappyToBeMrsP
When the time comes for me, I am sure I would prefer to BF in private (like Bec said in a parents room, or in the car).

If other women are comfortable BF whenever, wherever, well I guess that's up to them, I just don't look. smile.gif
nephthys
I am also very self-conscious and hate my breasts so I'd be very discreet about it when it's my turn. I couldn't breast feed in the middle of a busy shopping centre but I'd probably find a seat in a quiet corner and be modest about it.

However, if someone else is comfortable with that, whatever. Like SoHappyToBeMrsP said, just don't look if you don't like it.
helenaposs
I thought I would share some information with you all on Breastfeeding in public that is from the Australian Breastfeedings website. Here is the whole article:

http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/out.html

QUOTE
We live in a society which finds it acceptable for women to wear skimpy bathing suits on the beach, to dress in low cut tops and to pose scantily clad for underwear advertisements. But many people are critical when they see a woman bare her breasts for their natural purpose, that is, to breastfeed a baby.


QUOTE
It is reassuring to know that breastfeeding mothers in all parts of Australia can have recourse to anti-discrimination legislation. This legislation creates rights and provides a mechanism for redress where people feel their rights have been breached. In Queensland, Tasmania and the Northern Territory the legislation specifically mentions breastfeeding. This year, attempts to introduce a similar amendment into Victorian law once again raised the question of a mother's right to breastfeed in public. Publicity surrounding this Bill ignored the fact that the law in Victoria already prohibits discrimination on the grounds of parenthood. In 1985 The Victorian Equal Opportunity Board found that a woman who was refused service in a hotel dining room after she began breastfeeding her child was discriminated against on the ground of parenthood, because of her status as a nursing mother. The Australian Capital Territory prohibits discrimination against a person on the basis of their status as a parent. In Western Australia discrimination on the grounds of a person's family responsibilities is not allowed. Following the Victorian decision, breastfeeding could be seen as an aspect of being a parent or having family responsibilities. Other State laws and Commonwealth law prohibit discrimination on the grounds of sex. It may be that a complaint of sex discrimination could be substantiated under these laws if services were not provided to a woman who was breastfeeding in public.


QUOTE
Beware the person who directs you to the 'Ladies' Rest Room'. People who make suggestions such as this seem to confuse breastfeeding with excretion and therefore regard it as something dirty. They do not see it for what it really is, the best way of nourishing a baby and the foundation of a close, loving relationship between a mother and her child. So if someone suggests this to you, you are perfectly within your rights to remark that he or she would not eat their dinner in a toilet and that your baby shouldn't have to either.
lee_p
QUOTE (Leapstar @ Dec 7 2005, 10:19 AM)
I have seen women do exactly that...
It's like they are trying to prove some point and are very in your face with it...
Granted most women are discreet and are not at all offensive!!




Well I guess there's a minority that does that...but perhaps it's like Mer said, they're so over getting the negative comments and looks that they now do it with a "screw you" attitude.


QUOTE
I agree with this also.... I think that for sure that she should not have to miss out on the service... but what about a person going for a pee??  They are doing what god intended them to do with thier penis/vagina so why should they have to miss out on part of the service either??


I still don't think you can put going to the loo in the same category...but hey perhaps we need to look at making a portable loo small enough to carry in ones bag so you can go where ever you like...then maybe BF will be more socially acceptable tongue.gif
MrsJo
QUOTE (fishgirl @ Dec 6 2005, 09:54 PM)
I have heard this a lot but I wonder where the logic is?

I have always fed my son when he's asked for it, starting as a newborn. 

Acquisition of verbal skills doesn't seem to be a good reason to force weaning.  What if a baby develops their speech earlier or later than normal?  Why does forced weaning have to coincide with "mehmehmeh" becoming "boobies" (or whatever word they use)?

mer

As I said, it is just the way I personally feel, not everything has to be based in logic. If I feel uncomfortable about my son walking up to me in public as a 2,3,4,5+ year old, asking for my breast, then trying to access it, that's about me, my body and my comfort level, and I personally am not comfortable with it. Half of us have phobias, fears, issues, levels of comfort of one form or another, telling someone it isn't logical won't change the way they feel!

If you are fine with it, that's great, I'm not, so I didn't do it. It's about personal choice. My breasts, my body, my baby. He had plenty of breastmilk in his first year, is healthy, robust, intelligent and perfectly fine, I don't think not grabbing at my breasts as a 2,3,4 year old etc has negatively effected him, and it certainly was the best choice for me! I loved breast feeding him, but I also loved watching him wean and learn new skills and new ways of being, growing, changing.

As for "forced weaning", he wans't forced, he was ready, not every baby wants to feed well into childhood, he was active and healthy, and more intersted in other means of ingesting nutrients so it was never an issue of me having to "force" him.
Leapstar
QUOTE (lee_p @ Dec 7 2005, 09:29 AM)

I still don't think you can put going to the loo in the same category...but hey perhaps we need to look at making a portable loo small enough to carry in ones bag so you can go where ever you like...then maybe BF will be more socially acceptable tongue.gif

LOL...

we should look at making this....

We could rake in a FORTUNE!!!
gogogadgetgirl
Oh Belladoah I didn't mean to imply you forced your own son to wean.

I was just talking about that comment in general that I have heard so often from many other people "If they're old enough to ask for it they are old enough to wean" doesn't have any logic.

You and your own baby's choice of weaning time doesn't need logic it is personal, but I would hate for other nursing mothers to think they ought to force weaning because they had heard this comment around the place so often.

mer

(and no, eliminating stinky bacteria-ridden body waste and drinking a delicious nourishing meal can definitely NOT be compared!)
-Megs-
I personally (as I already emntioned smile.gif ) don't see any difference between breastfeeding or bottlefeeding. No one blinks an eye at seing a mother bottlefeeding their baby, so why shoudl they with breastfeeding? They're both fulfilling the same purpose, nourishing a hungry baby, there's nothing sexual about breastfeeding so what's the fuss? Perhaps I am simplifying this too much but I don't see why it should be complicated?
Kaz
It is a totally natural thing and should be done anywhere and everywhere biggrin.gif
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