Full Version: What do you think about breastfeeding in public?
| QUOTE (~Alicia~ @ Dec 7 2005, 03:19 PM) |
| What do you mean by that? It shouldnt matter where anyone feeds their baby bottle or breast why should we get disaproving looks at all? |
I mean if anyone is disapproving of the bottle, it is because they are judging you on bottlefeeding, whereas if people are disapproving of b/f it is because they don't want to see the breast, even though they may 'approve' of breastmilk in theory.
You got the term wrong Lib it's "mummier-than-thou". LOL
I agree we should just do what we need to do to feed our kids. I guess the results of the OP poll show that around 10% of people think we don't have a right to do what we need to do, and another percentage of people think we need to do it under certain conditions.
Hence the resulting discussion about why we should be able to. If it seems "holier than thou" it is because mothers are trying to make people understand why it's OK. That's all. The whole thing really has nothing to do with breast vs bottle
mer
| QUOTE |
| I mean if anyone is disapproving of the bottle, it is because they are judging you on bottlefeeding, whereas if people are disapproving of b/f it is because they don't want to see the breast, even though they may 'approve' of breastmilk in theory. |
So why is it ok for them to judge us but its not ok for them to judge you?
ETA: Im sorry this is an extremely emotional subject for some of us that would have loved to breastfeed our child or children but couldnt. WHY am I such a bad person that deserves to be frowned upon because I COULDNT breastfeed my child?
Shouldnt I only be frowned upon if I didnt feed my child anything? At least he is happy and contented.
NO ONE SHOULD BE DISAPPROVING OF A HEALTHY BABY
I think it is the most natural thing in the world, breast or bottle (whatever works for the individual).
The only reason people feel funny about BF is because breasts have been sexualised, when in reality, they only exist because we need them to breast feed. Hence why men don't have them (well, most anyway
!)
I have noticed in the past it is often old blokes who get offended by it, I wonder how many of them are quite happy to perve at boobs in playboy or penthouse.
I think it is a wonderful thing for a woman to be able to feed her child wherever she wants to. After all, how else can we propagate the species if we can't feed them?? I can't believe people would criticise women who are total strangers for bottle feeding either!
The only reason people feel funny about BF is because breasts have been sexualised, when in reality, they only exist because we need them to breast feed. Hence why men don't have them (well, most anyway
!) I have noticed in the past it is often old blokes who get offended by it, I wonder how many of them are quite happy to perve at boobs in playboy or penthouse.
I think it is a wonderful thing for a woman to be able to feed her child wherever she wants to. After all, how else can we propagate the species if we can't feed them?? I can't believe people would criticise women who are total strangers for bottle feeding either!
just my preference but it puts me off my food when someone starts breastfeeding openly in a restaurant. I have no objection to someone doing it discreetly in public-i have friends who i go out with and i can't even tell they are feeding their babies unless i look carefully. I just think it is a little crass when some women flop a breast out openly and have it all exposed while breastfeeding-especially those who then get sh*tty if anyone dares to look at them while doing it.
| QUOTE (~Alicia~ @ Dec 7 2005, 05:02 PM) |
| So why is it ok for them to judge us but its not ok for them to judge you? |
I think Mer is just trying to say that either way people are going to disapprove.
The fact that there are people saying they don't like to see women BF. But you can't win either way because you get the disapproving looks then for bottle feeding.
Am I kinda onto what you were trying to say Mer??
| QUOTE (lee_p @ Dec 7 2005, 04:52 PM) |
| I think Mer is just trying to say that either way people are going to disapprove. The fact that there are people saying they don't like to see women BF. But you can't win either way because you get the disapproving looks then for bottle feeding. Am I kinda onto what you were trying to say Mer?? |
Yeah, nah, sort of!
I don't think I ever once said or even suggested it was OK for anyone to be judging bottlefeeders!
I went out of my way to say no-one should be judging anyone.
My point was, in this discussion about being told to breasfeed in private, it seems a little off-topic to say "well I am judged for bottlefeeding", because the two judgements are seperate issues.
Yes it sucks that you are judged for bottlefeeding, I am not denying that. The basis for judgement though, is completely unrelated to the basis for being told to go to the toilet to breastfeed. And I think it is 2 different groups of people doing the judging. First lot is "breastfeeding nazis" (as seems to be the acceptable term these days) and second lot is people who can't handle the sight of a breast because they find it sexual.
Two totally unrelated topics. By introducing the bottlefeeding vent, the discussion on the rights of women to breastfeed in public has been turned into a breast vs bottle thing, which is irrelevent to the original topic.
Conversations in real life have their twists and turns, so fine, talk about being a judged bottlefeeder, but then it's a shame to start accusing breastfeeders of being holier-than-thou, when all they are doing is stating their rights and reasons for doing things.
mer
Lib, re "mummier-than-thou" see this bulge on the side of my face? It is my tongue poking into my cheek.
mer
As a woman who simultaneously breast and bottle fed her baby, I can say you can't win either way, if you are trying to avoid the judgemental people.
Breastfeed, especially out in public, and you get the "looks" as if you are exposing yourself for fun, bottlefeed anywhere, and you get judgement, especially from staunch breastfeeders who don't realise there are valid reasons why some women don't breastfeed, because they have no personal experience with those issues.
I could only feed from one breast due to med probs with the other, and because my son was a big feeder, he couldn't get enough milk just from that one side, I just couldn't keep up production! So the lactation specialist had me bottle feeding to supplement the one sided-breast feeding, lol. Complicated, yes, but it certainly gave me a good look at both pros and cons, and the judgements thrown at you on either option!
Breastfeed, especially out in public, and you get the "looks" as if you are exposing yourself for fun, bottlefeed anywhere, and you get judgement, especially from staunch breastfeeders who don't realise there are valid reasons why some women don't breastfeed, because they have no personal experience with those issues.
I could only feed from one breast due to med probs with the other, and because my son was a big feeder, he couldn't get enough milk just from that one side, I just couldn't keep up production! So the lactation specialist had me bottle feeding to supplement the one sided-breast feeding, lol. Complicated, yes, but it certainly gave me a good look at both pros and cons, and the judgements thrown at you on either option!
| QUOTE (~Alicia~ @ Dec 7 2005, 12:51 PM) |
| Bottle feeders cop the same amount of discrimination as breastfeeders do trust me. |
Yeah, and this is the problem with society as a whole...
us poor mums just never seem to be able to get it right...
not matter WHAT decision we make there is always SOMEONE frowning down on us. DARN mother guilt!
What a bad mother...
she's bottle feeding
she's breastfeeding
she's letting her baby cry
she's pandering to her child and giving them everything they want
she's letting them run loose
she's putting her child in a harness
she's ignoring her child's tantrum
she's disciplining her child too harshly
She's going to work and leaving her child in daycare
She's staying at home and not contributing
she's having too many kids
she's having not enough kids
they're too close together
they're too far apart
she breast fed for too long
not long enough
AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!
No bloody wonder half of us end up bloody depressed and on antidepressants...
oh yeah..
She's taking medication while breastfeeding
she stopped taking her medication...
...for a while then went back on it ANYWAY...
I reckon that being a mum is such a bloody hard job, especially with all the crap that we cop...
If I wanna raise my child THIS way as opposed to THAT way, and it's not going to hurt or endanger my child, then i'm gonna DO IT MY WAY, and I dont' give a flying banana what you think. end of story.
| QUOTE (Belladoah @ Dec 7 2005, 07:08 PM) |
| As a woman who simultaneously breast and bottle fed her baby, I can say you can't win either way, if you are trying to avoid the judgemental people. Breastfeed, especially out in public, and you get the "looks" as if you are exposing yourself for fun, bottlefeed anywhere, and you get judgement, especially from staunch breastfeeders who don't realise there are valid reasons why some women don't breastfeed, because they have no personal experience with those issues. I could only feed from one breast due to med probs with the other, and because my son was a big feeder, he couldn't get enough milk just from that one side, I just couldn't keep up production! So the lactation specialist had me bottle feeding to supplement the one sided-breast feeding, lol. Complicated, yes, but it certainly gave me a good look at both pros and cons, and the judgements thrown at you on either option! |
hehe, so you really can be in both stuations at once! (it was mentioned in the other thread! LOL!)
I swear i'm goona start making those teflon suits i mentioned months and months ago, to help all the dirty looks and judgments slide right off!
| QUOTE |
| Do you want more time to spend nurturing your children? Are you sick of having to field curly questions about your childraising methids? Then try "Mummy suit" it's 100% teflon, so all those thoughtless comments slide right off, and it's fully machine washable, which leaves more time for you and the kids! only $59.95... buy one NOW... works during pregnancy too! |
I was BFing today at he breast clinic (mum was having her check up) & got nothing but smiles, it was great 
Is this a debate of mum vs people who haven't had much contact with babies? those that maintain ideas of being able to 'whip-up' a bottle of expressed milk with the click of fingers to take out with you, or that you don't need to eat for the few months to years you choose to feed your baby, because believe it or not, you need to eat and well in order to nourish your baby proberly & if they're BFing 3 hourly your feed times are going to cross over & unlike with a bottle (yes I've bottle fed for 2 weeks while expressing then breastfed for 4 months then bottle fed for a month while I weaned then went away and am breastfeeding adain, so I've been there & done it all too) you can't just hand the baby & bottle to someone else so you can eat, and as your baby grows & gets destracted & pulls your nipple while they turn to look at stuff, if you're eating (like I was when DH brought Seth up to work for lunch) they like to put their hand in you food. my point... You'd spend all day trying to catch up on your meals & never get anything done. I'm not winging about BFing here BTW I love doing it that's why I took it back up after I came home.
I live in Qld & today it was about 35 degrees, I spent most of it in the hospital airconditioning, so that's ok but tomorrow it's meant to be hotter so I will be heading to the shops where after his 'solids' Seth will be having breast milk, if I'm near Myer or DJs I'll go to the couch there, but if I'm at the other end I will not go to the parent's rooms there because they are vile.
I challenge anyone who thinks babies should only be fed in parents rooms to go & check them out, I wouldn't eat in there... have you smelled a nappy lately? multipy that by about the 100+ babies that go therough the shops on any given day - especially in summer. then you may comment.
On the topic of BFing past the age of 2, my aunt still feeds her 4 year old at night, because SHE is still craving the act, which I find disturbing, having said that Prudie wouldn't take it if she didn't want it.
And a midwife told me of someone who was BFing her 5 year old (at night) a toddler & newborn for immune reasons, as both parents had immune disorders & she felt (or perhapse had facts to show) it would be benificial to their health to BF as long as possible
sigh, rant over
Is this a debate of mum vs people who haven't had much contact with babies? those that maintain ideas of being able to 'whip-up' a bottle of expressed milk with the click of fingers to take out with you, or that you don't need to eat for the few months to years you choose to feed your baby, because believe it or not, you need to eat and well in order to nourish your baby proberly & if they're BFing 3 hourly your feed times are going to cross over & unlike with a bottle (yes I've bottle fed for 2 weeks while expressing then breastfed for 4 months then bottle fed for a month while I weaned then went away and am breastfeeding adain, so I've been there & done it all too) you can't just hand the baby & bottle to someone else so you can eat, and as your baby grows & gets destracted & pulls your nipple while they turn to look at stuff, if you're eating (like I was when DH brought Seth up to work for lunch) they like to put their hand in you food. my point... You'd spend all day trying to catch up on your meals & never get anything done. I'm not winging about BFing here BTW I love doing it that's why I took it back up after I came home.
I live in Qld & today it was about 35 degrees, I spent most of it in the hospital airconditioning, so that's ok
but tomorrow it's meant to be hotter so I will be heading to the shops where after his 'solids' Seth will be having breast milk, if I'm near Myer or DJs I'll go to the couch there, but if I'm at the other end I will not go to the parent's rooms there because they are vile.I challenge anyone who thinks babies should only be fed in parents rooms to go & check them out, I wouldn't eat in there... have you smelled a nappy lately? multipy that by about the 100+ babies that go therough the shops on any given day - especially in summer. then you may comment.
On the topic of BFing past the age of 2, my aunt still feeds her 4 year old at night, because SHE is still craving the act, which I find disturbing, having said that Prudie wouldn't take it if she didn't want it.
And a midwife told me of someone who was BFing her 5 year old (at night) a toddler & newborn for immune reasons, as both parents had immune disorders & she felt (or perhapse had facts to show) it would be benificial to their health to BF as long as possible
sigh, rant over
| QUOTE (lexwithbub @ Dec 7 2005, 07:44 PM) |
| Yeah, and this is the problem with society as a whole... us poor mums just never seem to be able to get it right... not matter WHAT decision we make there is always SOMEONE frowning down on us. DARN mother guilt! What a bad mother... she's bottle feeding she's breastfeeding she's letting her baby cry she's pandering to her child and giving them everything they want she's letting them run loose she's putting her child in a harness she's ignoring her child's tantrum she's disciplining her child too harshly She's going to work and leaving her child in daycare She's staying at home and not contributing she's having too many kids she's having not enough kids they're too close together they're too far apart she breast fed for too long not long enough AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH! No bloody wonder half of us end up bloody depressed and on antidepressants... oh yeah.. She's taking medication while breastfeeding she stopped taking her medication... ...for a while then went back on it ANYWAY... I reckon that being a mum is such a bloody hard job, especially with all the crap that we cop... If I wanna raise my child THIS way as opposed to THAT way, and it's not going to hurt or endanger my child, then i'm gonna DO IT MY WAY, and I dont' give a flying banana what you think. end of story. |
Bravo!
I love this post, put a huge smile on my face Thanks Lex
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.