So I want to have a party a while before the wedding (thinking of hosting it in mid-November with the wedding at the start of January) which is the sort of thing that isn't based around drinking that my 85 year old grandmother can attend, as well as the young children of family friends who haven't been invited to the reception.

So I've settled on the idea of an entirely pink!!! themed afternoon tea with pink food, pink dress-code, the works!

I'm in the process of making the invitations as we speak (hello kitty themed with lots of pink) and all of a sudden I'm having a panic that hosting my own pre-wedding party is tacky. You see my MOH is hosting a hen's night closer to the date, and I can hardly expect her to invite and include people who she doesn't know particularly well (parent's friends and their children) which is why I haven't pushed her to organise it. My mother would love to organise it, but she hates the idea of a hen's night and would likely organise it close to, or on the same, date. Hence why I am organising it.

As we do not live together yet I would really love the benefits of recipes and all kitchen/pantry type of things, which is why the party would be both functional and fun at the same time, but now I'm completely worried that I'm going to come off as (a) greedy ( rude and © tacky!! Should I word the invites in a way to suggest that my mum is hosting it instead? (It is at her house although I live here too!!)

Most people probably wouldnt know it, but hosting your own bridal Shower is kinda tacky. Usually a sister or BM would "host" it, even if it were held at your mother's home.

I would go ahead and give your mum some input, as she is interested. Just you set the date and the theme. She doesnt have to come to the Hens Night if she doesnt want to. Neither my mum or MIL came to my hens night.

Im sure that if you spoke to Mum about what you want, and why you want it a bit earlier, she would love to throw it for you. From what you have said, this will be a non-drinking family-friendly event, and I am assuming your Mum would love to be involved.

Let us know how it goes