This morning Richard and I were having a cup of tea on our balcony. I went inside to check on Liam and he was awake so I bought him out to sit on my lap.

Richard wanted to hold him, so I handed him over. Our balcony has clear glass windows that Richard was sitting next to and I suddenly felt very nervous about Liam being outside with us on the baloncy. I imagined how awful it would be if the balcony gave way and him being hurt. So I said to Richard, can we take him inside please, I'm not comfortable out here.

Yesterday Liam and I were on a train and I double checked the brakes on his pram about fifty million times as I thought it would be awful if the doors of the train opened and something might happen.

These are totally irrational thoughts that scare me to death. I wonder if they are normal or a sign of something else. I find myself thinking about scenarios if we are in the car or out and about and it just makes me shudder.

Do I need to be carted off to the loony bin?

Oh Jo I think if it is causing you to be really anxious then it is definitely worth getting some strategies to help. I don't know who to suggest. I just want to clarify that it is not because you doing something wrong or not being an awesome mother (because you are) but because it is not fair to you to be feeling constantly worried and anxious all the time.
take care chickee, I hope I haven't been rude

totally normal. What mother wouldn't want to protect their baby?

I mean mine is the size of a pip and already I would move the earth to protect it!

I think its great that you want to protect bubs but also the stress on you isn't great, maybe try and take a little step back and have reasurance that you are doing all the things safely and no harm will come to you!

I'm exactly the same Jo, don't worry. Moreso since having my son. I certainly do think it's normal. You can never be too careful!

Normal worry (e.g. about bad things which might easily happen such as a car accident) is normal. When you start worrying about not so rational things (or when it starts to distress you inordinately) it can be a sign of something else.

Understandably people associate 'being down' with Post Natal Depression - however it frequently also manifests as anxiety. So if you think these thoughts are beyond the normal, mention it to your GP / health nurse.

Jo, I used to be like this exactly - particularly in Lachie's first 6 months or so!!!!! I never mentioned it to a soul because I too didn't know if I was going a little crazy

It's better now that he's older. I still check & double check and do the right risk assessments of where ever we are but I found out the irrational fear calms down.

I think it's just natural when you're not used to having something so defenceless and precious...

Karla has said EXACTLY what I was going to say. It was worse in the early days but it has certainly eased off.

My most common thought was when I was walking down the stairs from our building's foyer into the carpark. I kept imagining what would happen if I suddenly tripped & dropped the capsule that I was holding with Indi in it. It was just awful

I confided in a friend from mother's group & she said she had the same irrational thoughts about her child's safety & that made me feel a whole lot better!

i agree exactly with karry and it was especially so for me in the first 6 months too. imagining all the whatifs and terrible things that could happen. we lived on the 3rd floor with an open staircase and i was always paranoid i would drop isabelle down the middle while i was unlocking the door. I also double checked the balcony lock about 50 times a day. I think it is a normal part of having a newborn. you realise the huge responsilbity of having a child and with the huge wall of love comes the worry that something could happen to them.

I get thoughts like this too now, and i dont even have an outside baby yet..

My most vivid is, when i am on the bridge over the river in our town, and the lights are red, i wont stop on the bit where the road joins the bridge.. I will leave a massive gap and drivers behind me honk..

Unless its affecting your day to day living then I think it sounds like 'normal Mum worry' but if you laying awake thinking of these things, or don't want to leave the house or do things etc then maybe its a little more serious.

I still occasionally dream that Max is in our bed and I wake up and look for him (he has never slept in our bed!) the first few weeks I would wake up a few times each night thinking he was there. I remember posting on here about it and was surprised at how common those dreams are! I guess feelings like yours are common as well.

Yep I dreamt this too!! Especially since I'd sometimes have Amy in bed with me.
Jo as others have said if it's not affecting your day-to-day life (i.e. you're not lying in bed awake at night thinking about it) then I think it's pretty normal.

I agree

I am a HUGE double/triple checker even before Isabella was born. I still have continued since her birth. I worry alot about her making sure that everything is ok with her... is she hot isn't she hot etc etc but I think this is normal worry.

Oh yes I have totally felt like that! Like the others have said, some anxiety is normal but when it becomes dehabilitating then its best to speak to a health professional.

I was always worrying about holding Elka near edges of balconies and buildings etc. In fact I had one of those "fear flashes" yesterday even! My other big worry is her being near my horses and one of them kicking her in the head.. I guess all that mum worry is what ensures our bubs stay pretty safe

i do it too!
just the other day we were walking across a bridge and i was stressing that henry would fall over the edge i kept saying to hubby " dont get too close to the edge , what if henry falls... " I always react like that around heights, i guess it stems from me being afraid of heights and me being afraid of something terrible happening to henry.

LIke jess said, if it starts to affect your everyday life and you feel anxious going out then it might be an idea talking to someone.

Hi Jo, I'm not a Mum yet as you know but just wanted to say that I think it's totally normal, my friends with babies all say that fear is heightened when you have a baby and that your inagination runs wild. You're a wonderful Mum and not ready for the funny farm at all!

I'm glad I am not the only one who does this. I do this at least 3 times a night and will wake Richard up saying 'where is Liam?'.

The other night I found myself half asleep in his room. I must of slept walked to his room to check on him as I thought he was crying. He wasn't. I am sure things will settle down for me soon.

I still experience this sometimes! I thought that I was cracking up in the first few weeks of Zoes life I think it is pretty normal, but I was under other stress as well and went to see someone a few times to talk to. It really really helped.

I would say it's pretty normal....and it intensifies when you have more than one child.
I'm so scared of driving over water - if the car ever submerged and we had to get out in a hurry....thinking about trying to get all of the kids out make me want to bawl

I also worry alot when all the kids are out with DH in the car. As the car pulls away, I usually think - that's my whole life, right there, and can't relax until they're home again.

I would seek help if it started to affect your day-to-day living. (ie, if it was preventing you from leaving the house)

Jo, I go through this all the time. I am a person that goes over every scenario in my head a million times, good or bad. So something like that would make me anxious.
Driving home from a holiday once we had to cross bridges like Emma explained, and Kaele was with us, I just wanted to get off the bridge and was having a lil panic attack. When we came to the next one, I was thinking of an escape plan on how I would get Kaele out of the car if the car fell through!

My most out there loco thought was when Maddy was by me in her bouncy while I was hanging out laundry, and I freaked out thinking a magpie would swoop down and poke out hey eyes!

Its amazing what the brain is hard-wired to 'see' when you have a baby... You ae designed to 'find' danger in every situation before it finds you...

And thank god, or else the human race would have died out ages ago... As long as your thoughts dont stop you from doing things you want to do like actually getting in the car or hanging the landry out you are probably fine....

I'm wondering if it will be twice as bad when we have #2, or if I'll let #2 juggle knives

DITTO!

I havent told anyone because I am worried they would think bad of me and I would be taken to the looney bin!! PHEW I might be a little normal

Oh and on this one Jo, I have lost times the amount of times I have woken up, in a panic thinking kaele is deep underneath our covers, it was really starting to piss Klay off. We are co sleepers, and I confidently co sleep, I only ever do these lil panic situations when she isn't in our room!
I was convinced one time that she was in the pillow case and ripped all the pillow cases off pillows, I still have moments, if Klay isn't home I generally go get her and bring her in to bed with me, so I feel better

So, so normal!

One day I started thinking when I was doing my hair and put a hair clip in my mouth before putting it in my hair - "What would happen if I accidentally choked on the hair clip?". Totally irrational thought! What bothers me most is the thought of Henry laying there crying and me not being able to get to him or help him. I think it's just a protective Mummy thing coming out.

I don't have too many of these thoughts now but they occasionally plague me. The other day I almost slipped in the bathroom while Amelia was with me (in her bouncer) and I kept thinking about how if I was unconscious no-one would find us for a whole day - and I wasn't worried about me, I had visions of them finding her crying and hungry. I also feel anxious every time I carry her up and down our front steps - imagine if I fell!

Like the others have said - a certain amount of anxiety is normal. Just keep a little eye on it - if you feel it is affecting your life unduly or if it could be related to an underlying problem (like Puggie said, PND can present as anxiety) then please talk to your doctor about it.

I think its normal to worry when your a mum but when it starts interfering with your functioning
or if its distressing then it could be worth checking out

It could be anxiety or it could be just a protective mummy thing. Only you know if its really distressing you.

But we all go a bit batty when we become mums and I dont think we ever return to normal
not that wed have it any other way

Louise

Actually now that I think back - I used to wake up at night terrified that jess was in bed with us and she was getting smothered!! or was going to fall out.

Id wake up and search the bed frantically for Jess well I was asleep like sleep walking - she never slept with us just had cuddles it was just a fear - shows what lack of sleep and having a newborn does to your mind! If I felt a lump I freaked out and called out chris chris where is Jess

it sounds totally normal to me, and I agree that you should definately mention it to your health nurse of GP if it starts to intefere with day to day activities.

to be honest, I would prob mention it to my GP in any case so he/she can keep an eye on me - but that's because I have the 2 GPS I see regularly (who practise together - can't always get into the same one) I trust implicitly and I'd like them to know how I am, and kind of give me a sanity check. if that makes sense.

I think with any of these things, talking about it is the BEST thing - with your hubby and a health worker you trust. that way, they know how you feel, and they know to keep and eye on you and make sure you don't slip from "normal" anxiety to "debilitating".

my friend has such terrible anxiety following her first pregnancy that she was medicated for most of her second: and she's an otherwise intelligent and very rational person. but she reached a point where she felt she couldn't shower when she was at home with her bub in case she slipped and fell through the glass door.

only you can know if you think you're focussing too much on the "what ifs". it's all a part of motherhood I think - but important to keep communicating with people you trust so that it doesn't start to get to be more than that

good luck!

Totally normal. I do get anxious about things though.

I have horrible dreams of Finlay drowning in front of me, him climbing over our balcony, falling down the stairs, etc.

I get scared driving over the harbour bridge....

With the birth of our children comes a life time of worry.

If it is really worrying you, you should speak to your GP.

It sounds totally normal, but it's good that you're aware of it. If it starts affecting your life though I'd see your GP just for a chat. I had normal anxieties that turned into debilatating thoughts about Fox being taken away from me, so much so that I was convinced the cleaning lady at the hospital was going to poison his milk to kill him, now THAT'S not normal.

A little bit of anxiety over your child's welfare is very normal though, especially for a first time mum as you've suddenly got this massive responsibility on your shoulders and for the first time you start to see all the dangers of the world and magnify them in your head!

I think what you describe here is completely normal. Both hubby and I have experienced the baby in the bed scenario and G has never ever slept with us!

If it is starting to affect your ability to function, make decisions or enjoy your little boy then of course talk more about it in your closer circle or perhaps a professional.

But our instinct is to protect our children and activate our ability to forsee anything AT ALL that *could* happen, which can make it difficult to remain in the moment.

I know a woman who could never walk on a mezzanine level without clutching her baby and herself to the wall for fear he / they would topple over the railing.

It saddens me a little that some posters have felt they couldn't express these thoughts prior to now Expressing my unpopular or bizarre thoughts are the things that have kept me sane!

There are times that I too scare myself but like a lot of stuff I'm finding it seems to be a matter of balance.

Jo - I used to worry that if I took Harry out on the balcony that a bird would come and peck out his eyes THat or I'd accidently drop him off?? I have another friend who was also scared to take her bub out on the balcony - I think it is a common new-Mummy phobia!!!

Another common one is worrying what would happen if I slipped over in the shower and left Harry unable to fend for himself (of course now he is crawling I'm sure he'd just feed himself potplants and dirt)....so I used to shower with the front door OPEN just in case so I could call out!!??

You'll get more used to handling the fears as they get older and more robust. And hopefully one day you can even joke about it.

My MIL STILL worries about this sort of stuff..... When she takes her grandkids out for walks etc. she is always devising plans on how she would get them all up a tree (for example) if a crazy rabid dog jumped over a fence

I always laughed at her, because I never had anxieties about any of that sort of stuff.... Thats not to say that I didnt have irrational anxieties though - when she was younger i was so scared of germs and her getting sick and stuff that I probabley went a bit mental with the washing of hands, steralising etc.

So yes, I would say that it is 100% normal, until it starts interfering with your everday life....

Oh and as some others have said, it gets sooooo much better the older that they get I found Emily eating something off the floor at Woolworths the other day and didnt bat and eyelid.... 12 months ago that would have sent me into a total panic spiral

A little OT, but I actually felt more alert/nervous about EVERYONE, including DH, after I had a baby. If he leant against a railing, I would want him to move (just him) as it made me nervous. I used to love going that little bit fast in the car when we first met..... not after the birth of my son though. Anyone else find that too?

Oh definitely. I used to be a very relaxed passenger if I was being driven anywhere. Unfortunately not so much anymore!

My mother drove us to and from my sisters house on christmas day and the trip of 2.5-2 hours was the longest of my life. I forgot how much of a tailgater she was. I almost ordered her to pull over a couple of times and let me drive. Jamie claimed that I took years of Cecil's life as I was sitting in the "Crash" position the entire time (one hand holding onto the seat belt and the other on the Jesus handle of the car door.

My husband though thinks pregnancy has tipped me over the neurotic edge. Heaven help us all when Cecil is here.

lol good to see I'm not the only one. It's funny how the 'bear' comes out in us!

i can only echo the others.

there are worries then there are WORRIES - if you aren't sleeping/eating/it's consuming every waking moment than that's where you may need some professional help.