I've just spoken to my sons step mother and apparently Jordan is obese and the doctor has advised to put him on a 'radical diet'.

WHAT THE! Obese? He is not obese!

Radical diet for a child? I don't think so!

I'm all for a healthy eating plan... and always make sure he eats healthily when he is here.

In my opinion no child should be put on a 'radical diet'.

I don't yet know what this 'radical diet' involves, but am interested to know what it does involve.

I'm asking for a report from the doctor incase she is making it up and is doing it of her own accord and not on medical advice (she's done this sort of thing before)

here is the most recent pic of Jordan... taken Saturday jsut gone at the beach. Does he look obese to you? He has a little belly on him... but he's NINE YEARS OLD!



I'm really concerned... what are your thoughts? what should I do, and what can I do?

I don't think he looks Obese. If you look at his face and arms etc they are all slim.

I don't know what you should do but I definately don't think he looks obese.

I agree that he doesn't appear to be obese. He looks a bit overweight but a radical diet seems very extreme to me!!

I don't have any advice I'm sorry, but I just wanted to support you. I guess just wait to see the medical report (if it exists) and go from there. Good luck!

He is definately NOT obese. Im all for eating heathly but a radical diet is just ridiculous. I wouldnt even go there he definately does not need it.

I remember my friends daughter when she was little had quite a tummy on her and her mum was worried but she is now 14 and has lost it all and she eats the same. It will disappear as he has growth spurts as you can tell in his arms and face that hes not big at all.

Tell the step mother to stuff that idea.

I am all for kids eating more healthy diets. Less sugary and fatty foods and take aways etc, and more fresh fruit and veg etc. But Jordan certainly doesnt look like he needs a radical diet at all. he's a bit tubby around the middle, which would indicate maybe he is eating a few too many of the bad things, and maybe not running around enough.

But as others have said, maybe he's just not growing much at the moment and saving it up for a spurt.

If I were you I would definately be finding out more about thise "obese" diagnosis and the "radical diet". Sounds like the step mum might be blowing it out of proportion. Take him to your Dr yourself and get a second opinion.

Put aside the step-mother's thoughts on the matter for now, and as his mother take him to the Dr yourself and get a professional opinion that you trust, and a plan going forward of what needs to be done. He doesn't look obese to me, he looks like he is maybe carrying just a tad more than he needs around his middle, but hardly a crisis requiring radical change. Unless of course his diet is radically bad right now and heading him towards obesity in the near future. I take it he lives between two households, so assessment of diet and activity level in both homes would be required and both households would need to agree on and cooperate with any plan chosen. Maybe his dietary intake vs exercise level needs a bit more careful scrutiny, but he doesn't look obese to me at all!

Thanks for your advice girls.

I am definitely going to take him to a doctor down here when he is here next.

My main concern is that Jordan lives with his father & step mother, I only have him on alternate weekends... and I'm really worried she's going to start starving him

He eats very healthy when he's here, balanced meals, low fat, lots of fruit etc. She tells me he eats well there too, but maybe not?

I'm all for her putting a healthy eating plan into place for him... but NO child should be on a 'diet' of any kind IMO.

I know his physical activity is low at their place, because "Jordan's autism affects his ability to do as much as a non autistic child " which I think is bollocks coz he loves going for a walk or riding his scooter around or going to the beach when he is here.

I guess once he's back at school it will be a little better as he is in a really small country school (only 24 students in the entire primary school) so hopefully the teachers will make sure he isn't starving I'm going to call and speak to the principal as well.

Question, I know the GP he sees - if I call and ask questions they have to tell me don't they?

You should definitely take him to a doctor for another opinion. Then, as had as it would be, I think you and your ex and his wife need to sit down and discuss this face to face so you both get an understanding of his needs and how to manage them. Your child's long term health is at stake and sometimes the adults need to put aside their differences for a short while and have an open talk on what should be done so there is some consistency. I would hate to think Jordan would be starved or deprived of a good diet because of a little pot belly but at least his parents would be in accord?

Good luck with it Emma.

Since when is autism a physical disability?! He probably won't do well with team sports, or maybe even competitive sport depending on how bad his autism is, but there's plenty of other physical activities he can get involved in! Maybe he'd do well with a martial art?

The term diet is a silly one... what about life time eating plan ie the food pyramid... that is how we all should be eating - no matter what age or body type ect. Hardly anyone does... I dont

The Dr may mean its radical from what he has been eating... not that its harsh or restrictive...

This is the 1st generation of kids that is more likely to die b4 thier parens due to weight issues, and even a small seemingly insignificant tummy can be the begining of life long health issues.

No he isnt obese, but as we get used to mildly cubby children and ignore/ or dont know that they are in an unhealthy weight range we do tem a great diservice by not instilling good habits... I'm not saying you are doing this... Its just a general observation.

And hey yeah, take him to your own Dr

He's not obese.

I don't think it's appropriate to put any child on a diet. At all. Ever. It teaches them that health is about a quick fix, and diets in my opinion are unsustainable for anybody, much less a child. What happens when the diet is over?

Taking a few less nutritious foods out of the cupboard and replacing them with fruit and vegies, and taking the poor little guy for a walk in the afternoons is all he needs. At 9 there is a good chance his body is readying itself for a growth spurt and so long as he's doing the right thing and his weight isn't a danger to his health I'd let his body do what it needs to do.

Just an update on this!

I just spoke with Jordan's Disabilities SA support person who went along to the dietician with Jordan and his step mother.

The dietician kept reitterating that Jordan is NOT fat, and does not need to be on a diet or a plan... just needs to be making good choices (same as any other child or adult! basic healthy eating - derrrrrrrrr)

Jordan has always had an issue with stealing food at his dad & step mothers house, so she locks the cupboards and the fridge. Which of course, encourages him to steal more when he gets the chance!!
The dietician has advised against this (surprise surprise - I've been telling her for months that he doesn't steal food when he is here because he has access to all foods!)

He isn't obese at all... the step mother had either given incorrect measurements or he has grown 9 cms and lost 2 kgs in 10 days


So, at the end of the day, this has all just reitterated the fact that the step mother is an idiot

Good to hear!!

It seems strange that the father and step-mother would keep "bad" foods in the house at all. It seems bizarre to me to keep those foods and lock them up from a 9 year old. Of course he wants to steal them - it's a challenge!

exactly.

thats another thing that irks me with them, they are quick to cry "its his autism its his autism" when most of the time its just the behaviour of a 9 year old boy. it seems they can't differenciate (sp?) between the two.

In saying that... we have a zero tolerance policy in this house. bad behaviour = suitable punishment. Autism or not, he needs to learn right from wrong, and needs to learn to accept the consequences of his actions.

I will NOT allow my son to use the "I'm autistic" scapegoat!! His autism is very mild, in fact, sometimes I question the diagnosis at all.

Emma...thank goodness it's all being sorted...no way in that photo does he seem to be chubby nor obese....some poeple. Good Luck!!

At least he has one parent who will keep him on the straight and narrow! I have read many cases of mildly autistic children actually being reassessed at a later date and no longer rating on the scale. Poor excuse for low activity!

He definitely isn't obese. My poor cousin was put on a massive diet at around the same age. She was very very overweight and lost all the weight but has picked up the most unhealthy eating habits due to it. She is always extremely skinny and eats almost nothing but drinks massively. I put her terrible body image and eating habits down to that extreme diet back then.

Oh I have new stories on this one!!

Step Mother has written me out a "diet plan" for Jordan. (her writing, nothing in writing from dietician yet)

I was absolutely appalled when I received it. Its not even a diet I would put myself on!

throughout the day there is ONE serve of diary, ONE serve of breads/cereals and ONE serve of meat.

the rest is fruit and veg, but only certain fruits and vegetables.

She can shove it up her arse. I will continue to stick to the "5 food pyramid" but thats it. He is 9, still growing and needs dairy, meat and breads/cereals.

Good on her for giving me proof in writing that she is starving my son though *off to the lawyers tomorrow*

From what you have said Emma, that diet is shocking - especially for a child! At 13 (so a bit older), my brother used to have half a loaf of bread as toast in the afternoons as a 'snack'. They need the energy. And one serve if dairy!? That is awful. Their bones need it, they are still growing!

The activity thing really worries me too. They don't need to do organised sport if they think its too much effort. Just run around and be silly, ride a bike, go for a swim. If he is eating fairly well, he will burn off those calories easily!

He's lucky he has you on his side to reassure him. I think the way his father and step-mother are treating him could set him up for weight issues later in life (such as binge eating due to the locked fridge etc).

Good luck, you are a great mum