Its probably not right to quote another forum here but I found on Etiquette Hell a thread about the dumbest things a partner or DH has said at the birth of their child and it has had me in hysterics.

I wonder if anyone out there has any stories about silly things their partner said, or did, at the happy event?

Just before we left for the hospital and I started having contractions he said "If you're whinging like this now imagine what you'll be like when you're really in labour!"
An hour after he said this our DD was born. So much for not 'really' being in labour!
He did apologise later....

** GiGGLeS **

DH thought it would be funny to tell the midwife to put in a few extra stitches after i had a minor tear after giving birth ... i then replied by saying to the midwife i bet if you reciieved a $ everytime you hear that line from h hsbands you would be a millionaire and she laughed

I'd been contracting non stop for 4 days at this point.

I hadn't slept or eaten in days.

I woke DH up 20 minutes earlier (he was upstairs getting a great night's sleep in our bed) to let him know it's time to go.

I'm standing at the door with my hospital bag, my mum has pulled up and we're about to leave for the hospital when DH says -

DO YOU MIND IF I HAVE A SHOWER AND SOME BREAKFAST?




There isn't a smilie on earth that best describes my face.

p.s. Yes, I did mind. haha.
p.p.s. He was fantastic during the labour - he did get his breakfast, lunch and dinner and some sleep too

My husband complained his "hands were getting sore" from rubbing my back.

Silly men!

DH wasn't at our son's birth, but he will be at our daughters, I may have something to report back in 6 weeks!

you should have said something along the lines of "yeah I've always wanted our sizes to match better but I didn't want to say anything..."

Right well i will come in and admit my own stupid comment when I was the birth support person for my sister - before she comes in here and dobs me in!!!

When the head was crowing the nurse said "lauren do you want to put your hand down and feel him coming out" and my sister shook her head. Thinking it would be encouraging for her I stupidly said

"Loz are you sure, if you put your hand down you'll be able to feel him coming out" - to which she screamed at me through gritted teeth

"I CAN FEEL HIM COMING OUT"

I felt really really bad

Chelley well done

Klay too had words of inspiration to help me push Kaele out

He was watching down the business end, I was having a break, Klay came up to me face to face and said "All you have to do now is push her big ears out and you'll be right"....I told him if he was going to crack another stupid joke he could just piss off....now I however I see that he was just trying to make me smile

Haha she beat me to it! Hubby was too busy trying not to pass out

Tara was yanked out and held high and the OB said through his mask "It's a girl!!!"

DH replies "Well that's a relief!"

We knew her sex from the US...

My FH didn't say anything stupid thankfully but one of the midwives did.

She came at me with a pair of scissors. Angel's head was already crowning and about a quarter the way out. I told her not to touch me, ever so politely and then she said "Well you have to push, her heart rate's dropping"

Oh yea, cos I was fighting it and all. *rolls eyes*

She was extremely lucky that I used the rest of my energy to hold back the kick that was aimed at her head.

Two pushes later and Angel was born.

My hubby's friend said to his girlfriend after she had been in labour for close to 20 hours... "oh god my back hurts" and "man, I just need a smoke"

yep my own father and grandfather said YOU LOOK FUNNY WITH TWO HEADS.. my great grand father aged 99 also in the room asked if my son was bully calf!!! Oh the joys of having generational dairy farmers in the room!

nothing during labour - he was really good then (apart from getting more sleep than me with the girls but as he correctly pointed out for the better part it was rather boring and if i wasn't contracting i would have slept too )

but when i was pg with the girls, during an u/s oh about 30w, he goes 'i'm just going to go to the loo' - both myself and the u/s lady looked at each other and i snapped 'you need to go to the loo, i've laid here for an hour with 2 babies doing gymnastics on the inside and this lovely lady pushing on the outside and YOU need to go'

OMG I would have been furious I would have told him not to bother coming back

I swore once (once during the whole labour) and he asked me if it was really necessary to swear

I think my DH was to busy trying not to pass out!! he was so white the whole c -section LOL.
He didn't even watch the worse part (spinal block going in) LOL LOL

I have a few. When Pregnant with our first little man & nearing my due date i'd asked him to buy me a few packets of maternity pads, he asked me why I needed them coz i wasn't going to get a period "for a while" Then he came & looked at me with these big eyes & said in quite a funny voice, they're so big! Surely u won't need many After we came home i sent him back for more!

When in labour with #1, first he got home & invited friends over, so I told them all get away from me & go outside-they never knew i was in labour, so I must have hid it well. The first time we went to hosp, we were sent home, dh tried to "comfort" me me by telling me about all the times he gets hurt at work.....like his thumb being hit with a hammer

& he complained he was oh so tired after he was born & he needed to go home to sleep.


With our second little man, I knew it was happening, when he got home from work-a long day, I told him have dinner, shower & bed, it will be a long night. Which he did. I woke him up at 230, said hosp time, woke my mum up said hosp time, wake tony when I get out of the shower-he was 2 tired to get up straight away We arrived at the hospital at 3, our little man arrived at 327. & he STILL complained he was tired. Wonder how he would have felt if I didn't let him goto bed at all!

& when ds2 was about 1wk or so old, he complained he had to do so much more stuff at the moment. I politely reminded him he was the one getting more than 45minutes sleep so he could certaintly help out more, so I could rest abit!


& sil's, her dh was supposed to say that they had a little girl & he said I "think" its a boy

TG I can't believe the stupidity of the meal delivery guy!

DH was great during my labour, I don't recall him saying anything inappropriate.

I do recall the anaesthetist getting told off by my mother when he was putting the spinal in. He was clearly trying to "lighten the mood" & cracked some stupid joke & my Mum gave him the look (which used to scare the crap out of my siblings, cousins, friends when we were young) & she said "I don't think this is the time or the place for your stupid jokes". It could've just been because the epi had started to kick in that I even noticed but there was definitely an awkward silence afterwards

Oh hang on, I now remember my obs also telling the anaethetist off during the c-sec. At one point he said to him "Will you be quiet, I am trying to concentrate". Seriously, he was one weird guy.

None from my DH, he wasnt game enough

I was already in full labour when H2B arrived at the hospital and his first comment was "You look like your in a bit of pain!"

I am so lucky to have an assertive man!!

Oh Julz I hope you gave it to him.

I had to call hubby home from work to take me to hospital, first thing he said when he walked in the door was "have your waters broken yet?" and then proceeded to cover the passenger seat on the car for me to sit on.

Then when in labour, this was the Saturday morning and I'd been in labour since the Thursday night, I was mid contraction and he was sleeping on the floor and chose that particular point to start snoring, he was lucky he didn't get a metal bowl thrown at his head!

I love it!!!

I just know my hubby will be giving me some ammo for this thread! He has already started with a few crackers - including commenting in the antenatal class that he hadnt realised how long labour could go for and jeez he was going to be SO tired cause he didnt get the adrenalin from labour that lucky I would be getting

And the other day when my obs told me it could be any day and I told hubby to calm down he replies with "Well its stressful, I am not sure I am ready to go through labour yet"

When my waters broke at about 11pm with my first child I got up and went to the toilet. Whilst sitting there I called out to my DH to say "could you please get up my waters have broken".

After yelling several times for him to get up, he poked his head out of the bedroom into the hallway rubbing his eyes. I repeated the same thing to him and he said "yeah right" and promtly went back to bed and within seconds I could hear him snoring!

I sat fuming for a few minutes and then yelled for him to get up and get me the phone to ring the hospital. Within seconds he was up and staring at me saying "You were being serious!".

The next thing I know he is practically running around the house like a headles chook!

The funny thing is he still denies he ever went back to bed!

priceless!

Hubby was well behaved at the birth of our first son. I'm the one who let out a priceless remark. Brock had been taken away to be assessed by the paediatric team and was wraped up and handed back to me. The first thing out of my mouth was "He looks like ET" I spent the next three days explainig that it wasn't that he looked like ET, more the way he was wrapped up reminded me of the part in the movie where ET is wrapped up like a baby

Hubby didn't make it back to the hospital for Jack's birth but afterwards as they were cleaning up and we were sitting there admiring our new boy he pipes up "That was quick, I guess I can go home and get some sleep now"

PMSL @ ET

ROFL ROFL ROFL Thats hilarious!

I don't recall either of us coming out with anything of note in Finns birth!

A few hours after Bronte was born my DH was going home and asked if I wanted anything brought to the hospital when he came back later. I asked him to grab me another couple of packs of maternity pads as I was going through them at a great rate and was worried I'd run out while I was in hospital. Poor thing went to Woolies and proceeded to buy SIX packets of them and bring them to me. Seriously, did he really think I was going to use them all? I think I ended up using three packs and used the rest up 18 months later when Cameron arrived. Actually, now I think about it, I never got flowers from him for having a baby....just a load of maternity pads. Oh well, and I always say that I'm the practical one.....

DH asking me 'how are you feeling?' in the middle of a contraction, 5 mins before Ava was born....

Needless to say, I didnt answer him!

you could say that


I made a comment to when Summer was born. When I was pregnant I was really worried that the baby would be born with a mono brow (because of my hubby's dark features) anyway when she was born and on my chest one of the first things I asked my husband was did she have a mono brow my hubby replied that she didn't but she was hairy like a little monkey which the midwife thought was hillarious

I can't actually remember anything silly that my husband said...

When I started to feel the urge to push and the midwife said to Matt that the babby was coming and she could just see her head, she asked him if he wanted to have a look. He did. I then stupidly asked what colour her hair was He replied with "Umm not sure hon, we can't really see that much yet". Not sure why I was so concerned about what colour her hair was at that stage.

Once I had delivered the placenta my Obs was showing it to us and I stupidly asked whether the placenta was what had been nourishing my baby during the pregnancy. My goodness, what a stupid thing to ask - I knew what the placenta was. It's not like I hadn't read a million pregnancy books/magazines throughout the nine months. I actually only realised that I'd said this the other week when I was watching the video we took moments after her birth. I cringed!

Ohh, Kat , i so understand !

I asked the midwife how things were going at one point.
Cam said to me " Sweetie , you have seen thousands of cows give birth , you should know what to do "

That is hilarious!!

My husband, from across the room (I bet he was glad he was over there!), said to me "I don't know what all the fuss is about, it just feels like a bad chinese burn"! After a few choice words came out of my mouth, I realised he was only joking!

My response to that would be "You've seen thousands of cows eat hay but are you gonna stick your head in a trough to eat too???"

Hmm...don't you also brand cows? how bout we offer him that option?

Oh my goodness, this is a funny thread!

Makes me wonder how some of these men still have wives!

All that went through my head then was "don't even think of sticking your hand up there to get it out"

This is a funny thread!!


When I was in labour, I was REALLY feeling it. Hubby was sitting on a chair facing me with our knees touching & he was supposed to be rubbing my side & encouraging me through the contractions. So I had my eyes closed sucking the gas furiously bouncing on my fitball to get through the pain & I open my eyes to see hubby sitting in front of me engrossed in a bike magazine, so mid contraction with my spare hand I've grabbed the magazine & violently thown it across the room... I think hubby was a bit shocked by my actions & very sheepishly started offering me comforting/encouraging/supportive words.

This would be my husband!!! Mind you, I think these type of things run in the family. When my SIL was in labour with our niece (who I might add is 18) BIL announced he was ducking down the road for a pie! (once again something my husband would do!!) My SIL actually okayed this but told him that if he ran into anyone he was not to tell them she was in labour!!!! Now it's small town, so Steve running to the pie shop then back up the hill to the hospital didn't go unnoticed!

In cowboy movies don't they tie a rope around the calves legs and yank it out that way?
Nope, that is also not an option

Okay, I think I'm officially off the idea of having children

We actually have a thing similar to a 4wd Winch. That winches calves out ! THANK GOD , he didn't suggest that we use that !

Mind you he was very impressed with the sucky thing that sucks the mucous out of the babies throat/nose ect, and had a huge conversation with the obs regarding where he could source one for his calves !

Oh Ali that's hysterical

Oh I love reading these. Keep em commin, Im sure there are heaps more!

Ahahaha that is classic!

my father asked my mother if she really wanted to go through with it as she was being wheeled into the delivery ward

Ali, Britt and Kitty at one stage my own father told me i would need block and tackle and i said if the OB puts chains on him i will strangle the bastard myself ( the OB).

Yes i put my whole arm up that end of a cow. I have the smallest hands to get round their feet!! Mind you and Ali will agree to this a C section on a cow isnt the most pleasant and thank god us humans have anaethestic! and when you do cut cows upon they dont even flinch!! when you stitch them up though you give aethestic but not for the first bit go figure!!

Ali, Britt and Kitty at one stage my own father told me i would need block and tackle and i said if the OB puts chains on him i will strangle the bastard myself ( the OB).

Yes i put my whole arm up that end of a cow. I have the smallest hands to get round their feet!! Mind you and Ali will agree to this a C section on a cow isnt the most pleasant and thank god us humans have anaethestic! and when you do cut cows upon they dont even flinch!! when you stitch them up though you give aethestic but not for the first bit go figure!!

hmmm so cows get a "drug free birth" with only local anaestetic for the stitches afterwards.....sounds scarily like my birth story well I didn't have a c-section though

my husband and obs started talking about golf, favourite courses, recent games and how after bub hubby wouldn't get to play as much etc.

this was within minutes of my daughter arriving: obs didn't even get to hospital til 6pm and Lottie was born at 6.24.

I said "shut up, both of you", and they did