I found out on Sunday that my ex is expecting with his new partner. They have been together since October last year and we haven't been seperated a year yet. (Will be a year on the 6th)

So since Saturday morning I have gone through, S
hock (OMG he is going to be a dad again)
Anger (after I was told by Isabel that daddy was having a baby I called to make sure Isabel wasn't just confused only to be told it was none of my f***ing business.......)
and now deep sadness over the fact that he is having another child and I am not, the fact that before we seperated we had planned to start TTC this year and now he is having a baby and I am missing out.

Everytime I think I am ontop of the emotion and stuff something happens for the flood gates to re-open, why can't alll the shit stop so that I can have a chance to truely move on.

Sorry girls I will come back and read this soon and make sure I have made sense. If you read this then thanks and if you have a comment please go ahead cause I am so lost at the moment.

Oh and any suggestions on how to work Isabel into this would be great. Cause she is already asking if this baby will be her sister/brother and if they will live her with us and all that stuff and I just don;t know what to tell her.

Honey,
I dont have any wise words at all Im afraid..it would be hard to see him move on and on to somewhere you hoped to be..

But remember why you did what you did??You did what was best for yourself and your beautiful children..I know you wanted another baby but deep down I know you know that would have been a mistake at the time.

I know it isnt much consellation but oneday you will meet someone and you will have that other baby and it will be well worth the wait..

hugs for you
xxx

^^^^^^
What Michelle said. I can really hear the pain in your post, please take care. Remember there is a knight in shining armor waiting somewhere for you.

Oh sweetheart, that is shattering news. I have no real advice except that I agree with Michelle, you did it for a reason.

You will be in my prayers, that you WILL get through this. I know it must be incredibly painful.

xx

I am so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine the sort of pain you are in right now. The other ladies are right, you are no longer in a relationship with him for a reason. Just keep reminding yourself that and hopefully with time the pain will ease.

Have PM'ed you sweetie!

I have no advice to give sorry, but just wanted to acknowledge that I had read your post, and my heart goes out to you. i do agree with what Clio posted - you are not in a relationship with him for a reason'.

I hope time eases your pain.

K

Oh darlin, I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine how hard it would be for you.

I have absolutely no advice I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you & if you need anything, PM me!

xoxoxoxoox

Thanks girls, I feel so stupid for letting this upset me, as I am so happy I am no longer with him, at the same time I am crushed beyond messure. When I got the news on Saturday I felt worse than when I walked away from our marriage. I just can't believe that even now he is out of my life he can still cause me pain.

I think I need someone to hold my chin up for a while

OMG Hun!! I'm sorry it took me so long to see this post.
I went through the exact emotions with Jon when I found out he and Robyn were expecting; it wasn't that I wasn't over him, but I got so upset over Logan having a brother/sister that I've not given him that I couldn't think straight, I was so lost.

PM me anytime sweetie, you know I'm here for you, anytime

I just wanted to let you know that I have seen your post and am thinking of you.

Sometimes the hurt can just come in waves, so just be kind to yourself and remind yourself that you and your children are much better off.

I would answer your daughters questions simply and honestly as she asks them since your ex is not modelling to her how to communicate well.

Hoping someone who can treat you like you deserve is right around your corner

I don't have a lot of advice but was going to say the same as Chelley re; your daughter. I would just tell her the truth (simple version) & answer honestly.

Big hugs sweet, I can imagine it must come as an awful shock.

Oh hon, you are not stupid for letting it get to you, don't think that!

You're a strong woman who walked away for a reason, remember that and even though this is tough to deal with right now, over time it will be easier.

((((BIG HUGS)))) to you

I don't have any advice for you - just offering support.

Saw this and thought of you hun:

http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=275908

Kate Ritchie's baby heartacheFriday, June 29, 2007
Kate Ritchie put on a brave face when her ex-boyfriend phoned to tell her he's set to become a father. But friends say the Home And Away star has been rocked by the news.

While she told rugby league player Chris Walker she was thrilled when he telephoned to say his new girlfriend Courtney Hammond was having his baby, her emotions were bittersweet because she's desperate for a baby of her own.

Relationship experts say it's perfectly natural for her to be left feeling shocked and slightly jealous about her ex's big news.

Kate is happy for Chris, but like most people she will probably have mixed feelings about how quickly he has moved on and embarked on fatherhood, according to author and relationships expert Dr Cindy Pan.

"It would be natural if Kate felt a bit of jealousy, because even if there are practical reasons why she might not want a baby herself, there are biological instincts in most women to fall pregnant and have children," Cindy says.

"While Kate might wonder, 'What was wrong with me?' and 'Why couldn't he have done this with me?' she needs to remember that no relationship is perfect and this new one will come with its own risks."



Not so much for the celebrity status, but the points that Dr Cindy Pan mentioned; what you're feeling is perfectly normal. I'm sure you already knew that, but i'd hate for you to be upset at yourself because of how you feel and the emotions you're going through...

Thinking of you...

Megan hun

Thanks so much, I feel less silly and more normal now I suppose alot of people do go through this, I think though I am still in the frame of mind where I believe (or would like to believe) that I am the only one.

In the last day though the pain has dulled some, it is just so hard to believe that he was the negative in our relationship and he has manage to keep his life on track. He is having the baby we were planning but its not with me.

I wouldn't go back to him in a million years but at the same time I wish I was with someone, cause its not just the baby thing it is the whole alone thing, and I am really starting to hate it.

12 months is a long time being alone when your whole adult life you have been with someone

I know how it feels hun. It's like I lost my faith in Karma and the world. You put up with so much shit and negativity from someone and take solace in the thought of them getting paid-back for their actions... then it doesn't happen; it's shatters you as it did with me.

It has nothing to do with wanting him back, but it has everything to do with that unanswered "WHY" to the world. Why did he get this? What did he do to deserve it? Why, why, why...

Unfortunately we never get the answer smacked in the face, but we have a chance to make our lives far happier. You may not see it now hun, but yours will be. One day you'll look back on this and start asking yourself why you reacted the way you did, because you know deep down inside that you are far better without him, and now someone else is stuck with him

WHY????? Is exactly the problem, but I am avoiding this question as much as possible cause when I ask this question then the what if's? start.

What if he hadn't become so awful, what if we had stayed together, what if we never married etc

Grrr why is it that regardless of whether it is our personal lives or the court system the bad guy always seems to get the best deal ??????

That was another why!

I don't know hun, I wish I did

Just keep focussing on the negatives that he gave you... I found it so much easier when I did that. It may seem wrong, but eventually it made me see that I was so much better off.

The situation sucks hun, I don't deny that, but there's nothing you can do about it - another thing I hated (the no control part). Just focus on your gorgeous children and use your anger towards something else (ie. use it as motivation to improve yourself; do a course, gain new friends, start going out a bit, PAMPER YOURSELF!)

You are worth a hell of a lot more than you tell yourself hun, honestly.

I just feel sorry for the girl he is with, because she has no idea what he is like because he is putting on the angel front that I got for 3 years before cracks started happening with us.

So hope karma bites him big time but treats her nice, cause whenever he gets nasty at me she tells him to stop being a poo head (in a few more ruder words than that)

familyof3

I am always struck by how honest and courageous you appear in your posts and today is no different.

I have no advice but that news certainly is a lot to stomach and I think it a purely natural part of grieving your marriage etc.

Please be gentle with yourself during this time

Thanks for that beautiful comment. I try so hard to be honest with people because I in turn expect the same back

Besides what is the point in lying to people or bending the truth you eventually get found out and it is either you or someone else that ends up getting hurt from it.

I am trying to be kind to myself as I know that above all else walking away from the marriage was the smart thing to do. But it still hurts heaps and it hurts that he can still hurt me like this when he isn't even here. But I am past the wanting to dig a deep hole and hide in it so thats a start


Everyone thanks so much for the support it has really helped