why is he soooo whingey, & cranky & aggressive alllll the time !!!! Options

[Mee-Mee]

Having troubles with my DS (mostly) but DD has her moments. From the moment my kids wake up, they whinge & whinge & whinge. I offer them their milk and it's never warm enough, in the wrong cup, then I offer them their breaky, they never want it, very rarely eat breaky...then at this stage it's all of 7am and they are unbearable. They bash on the sliding door to go outside, so I send them outside and all they do is whinge & fight & throw things and get into mischief. They then come inside and continue whingeing and even this morning my DS hit me (again ) I send him to time out, but as soon as I put him in there he says "sorry mummy, sorry mummy", to which I respond and say "what is it that you are sorry for" and he never answers. I explain to him what he's done wrong, but he does it over & over again. He even hit his teacher the other day. It's not frustration. Both of my two have the language of a preschooler so they can say what it is they want, but I don't even think they know what they want half the time. The only thing I can think of is 2yr molars, but they have never been this badly behaved with all their other teeth...so it leads me to think that I am mismanaging them somehow. I find myself constantly yelling at them to "stop whingeing" and I've just about come to the end of my tether. I hate when the sun comes up cos my days starts all over again Will this pass or is it me??? Am I doing something wrong?

[Raelene]

They're two years old..... Ashleigh is the same! And our niece is about 6 months older and the two of them together are the same. This morning my SIL had to take her home because she was being awful

My only solution for breakfast is that I ask Ashleigh what she wants and then she'll scoff whatever it is. She knows she can choose from cereal, weet-bix, toast and yoghurt and every now and then we have porridge.

I guess a lot of the time I just do what she wants because its easier but you don't have that luxury with two of them to contend with

ETA - your own personal Groundhog Day.....

[Nisha]

You poor ting... its very hard to reason with little ones when they are being fussy...

Perhaps let them choose their own cup and bowl and what they want to eat (like a kiddy breakfast buffet!!) ask them if they'd like cereal, toast or yogurt- or whatever is on the menu for that day. I think they'd like to make their own choices but get frustrated at the same time...

Have you tried giving them brekkie at a later time? If i put breakfast off till 9am my two gobble down whatever is on offer. They have a morning bottle at 7:30 and play for a while and breakfast is usually at 8:30 or 9am

[Mee-Mee]

At least I now know I'm not alone !!!

LOL, Raelene, it is my own groundhog day...does that mean, one day I'll get it right and that day will be bliss !!!!

Nisha, putting off b'fast is a great idea....had always tried to force breaky into them within a half hour of waking up...perhaps they are just not ready for it. Hard on days they go to kindy though, but they haven't suffered yet, so what's the worry...will try the later b'fast as well as the "letting them choose everything themselves" tomorrow and let you know how I go.

Cross your fingers for me, cos tonight has been the end of the line for me...I've had it and poor DH has copped the brunt of it.

Things have to get better

[~MrsB~]

I can empathise!!! Lachlan's bowls and breakfast foods are all within his grasp, so I have always asked him what he'd like (I've finally weaned him off rice bubbles!), and it is his job to pick a bowl and get the milk out of the fridge.

Lachlan has become particlarly disobedient, and yep, we're also waiting for the last 2 y.o. molars to come through too.

You wonder how you'll get through a day sometimes when it's only 8am and it's still 10 hours til hubby gets home!!

[Mee-Mee]

I'm just so tired of losing my temper with them. I feel very very guilty.

I tried the later b'fast and my little girl ate a bit, but my little boy still wasn't interested, but in saying that, he hasn't eaten all day. Perhaps he's getting sick. He slept for 4 hours this arvo.

Will continue to do the later b'fast & getting them to choose what they want. I think that will help.

My little boy asked for milk at 4pm this arvo and normally I wouldn't allow it as it's getting close to dinner time, but I agreed to it and he was happy after that. I'm taking a new attitude. Whatever they want (as long as it doesn't harm anyone) is ok with me. If it's cake they be wanting for b'fast, then they shall eat cake !!! Only kidding, but I am going to try harder to work with them, rather than fighting every new idea they come up with.

Today has been a little better having taken on this attitude.

[~MrsB~]

I know what you mean Megs. It feels like you're always saying "no" or arguing with them to do (or not do) the simplest of things. I'm sure they'll eat when they're hungry enough!!!!!!! Lachlan always does!

[Louisa15]

It's normal for that age. My daughter does it all the time and it drives me crazy. I have found it helps to let her choose their own bowl, cup, a particular coloured spoon, clothes etc but only limit her choice between 2. For e.g. Do you want toast or cereal? Do you want banana or strawberry yoghurt, showing her the two tubs, and then she happily chooses. I think she feels happy to feel like it's been her decision to eat from a particular bowl, drink from a particular cup etc. The same goes for clothes. She would always refuse to wear the clothes I chose for her, then she would go to the drawers and pull out everything and still not be able to decide what to wear. So I started giving her two choices and she seemed happy to choose from that. She doesn't accept this everytime, but it does work a lot of the time.

[cmel74]

I think its definitely an faze they go through, but I remember seeing something on Dr Phil about this age group.

He says "pick your battles" try to let some things go even though you know its not normally what you may do. Is it worth the fight? Sometimes things are better when you just let them go. I am finding that with my little one at the moment.

I allow my little man to choose what he wants to eat for breaky and when he wants to eat it. *(within reason of course). Its usually pretty close to the times I go by anyway. Like the others have said delay eating breaky a bit and replace that time by doing something else you would normally do. That way your not wasting time when you are trying to get them ready for kinder etc.


They are getting to that age, where they like to make their own decisions as they are developing their own identity.

Good luck, I know how trying it can be at times,

Christine

[MrsMummyBurns]

well im glad im reading all this

All I get all day is "No im not" or "no i dont want to" I am so sick of it. Even when its fun stuff.

Riley has his days where he doesnt eat brekkie.

Whenever i even get the lsightest bit stern he winges and crys i want my daddy. Its such a put on cos when drew is here i say well there he is and riley says no i dont want him.

very frustrating but im glad im not alone

[Becca13]

Thank God it's not just me!

So I see its not just me either, I've taken the lead from Sarah now, its a matter of choosing your battles. Sarah hardly eats so when she wants something to eat, she gets it, it's not always healthy but at least shes eating. I think the terrible 2's were going to pass up by, but unfortunatley I sarted to boast to people what a good girl she'd been, then she turned evil!!!

This is where I am at with Liam now, some days he wants leftover cinnamon donuts

[Nathalie]

Its not you! Its them... thats normal beaviour, they need to know where they fit into the world and how far they can strech the 'rules'.

The food thing is a bugger that is often the only area of control that they have so they refuse and or get amanding about it. I just say this is whats on offer take it or leave it. I dont want to create a food/eating disorder issue so I let them have some control ie - Toast or cereal, and if they dont want much, then so be it. After I've cleaned up if Maddy wants more, too bad she has to wait till morning tea.

Learning the 'rules' of the world is hard and frustrating work.

I have always had firm rules in my house, and by and large I ignore the bad behaviour and reward the good behaviour. IE Whineing for another arrowroot - I say 'Maddy I dont repond to ppl who speak to me like that' and turn away from her. Then I ask her to try again, she asks nicely and she gets what she wants with lots of praise.

For lovely behaviour she gets rewards (not bribes) - praise, clapping, attention and a sticker that she can put on her hand or on her top. I tell her that she is getting a reward for ie getting out of the house quickly with no fuss and that she has been a good girl. She gets very proud and shows off he sticker to all and sundry.

It sounds like you need a 'circut breaker' and to decide what the rules of the house are - for all of you as a family, not just the kids.

I found the book 'toddler taming' very good advice and most libraries will have a copy....

[TanyaT]

Glad I just found this thread! I didn't see it until after I'd posted my "not eating breakfast" thread .