A letter I think is beautiful and wanted to share, with TTC and Pre TTC girls Options

[Cathleen]

Edited to Add:

I had written that this was by my colleagues friend, but turns out he must have just reprinted it!

Enjoy anyway


Being a Mum...

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family".

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical woulnds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "what if that had been MY child?". That every plane crash, car accident and every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mum!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesistation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter now many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighted against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. HOwever decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has had a child. That she would give up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a caesarean scar or stretch marks will become badges of honour.

My daughters relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realise that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it" I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughters hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.



This post has been edited by cathybutterfly: Feb 26 2006, 08:23 AM

[~MG~]

WOW That was such a beautiful letter.....

Thanks for sharing with us CathyButterfly.....

It bought a much needed smile to my face!

[kylie**]

That was amazing Cathy, thanks you so much for sharing Im extremely warm and fuzzy now

Yep ok and teary!

[bridgetjayne]

I've read that before and it still got the tears flowing

[Cathleen]

[lazuli]

[CBEAR]

yea it's a goodie.... I've had it before as well,
c.

[CeeBee]

I love that, Cathy. I have also read it several times before, the first time about 6 years ago - and it is from a mother to a daughter (ie, the mother had been through all that before with her daughter).

[Punky Monkey]

Love it.. tears in my eyes, and as a mother of two it is so true...

[MMMM]

What a lovely letter to read before bedtime. Thank you Cathy. Made me think about my mum

[carlysue]

That was beautiful!

[Cathleen]

Thanks girls, will definitely be letting my colleague know then that her friend is not as brilliant as she though!!