Tantrums, Starting the terrible twos early? Options

[Avery]

Seriously ... how many tantrums a day should an 18 month old be having? I love my daughter, but since her grommets have gone in she has turned into a demon child

Any time she doesn’t get her way it’s on with the crying, screeching, and I swear she get the “I hate you“ frown going.

But all this is normal right? They don’t go on for long and she is pretty easily distracted – but 6 tantrums in one hour yesterday ... seems a little excessive

[Monica]

We've had tantrums for a few months now so I think only starting now you're lucky

We get them when she doesn't want to do something (have a bath, get her nappy changed, sit in the highchair). Throwing herself on the ground, running at the wall with her head, it's freakin' awful.

I just keep saying "this time will pass"

I don't have any advice lovely lady, sorry but I do know what you are going through.

[claire_p]

Yep as soon as I say the word 'No' he throws himself facedown of the floor and cries!! I also get the frown When he does throw a tantrum I just ignore him and once he realises I am not watching he gets over it pretty quickly and forgets what it was he was throwing the tantrum about!! I would say on average he throws these little tanties about 4-5 times a day. I am lucky I have never had one in public yet.

[ClaireBear]

Yeah, I'm in the thick of it too, times two!

Nicholas gives me "baby evils" quite frequently and also chucks himself face down on the ground to have a paddy. I've seen him check the flooring recently though before doing it - he won't do it on the slate tiles!

Liam arches his back and says "Nononononono!" and thrashes. He has also been known to flail on the ground.

Yes, it's very normal. I just go about my business and let it wash over me and not let it bother me. It really is quite amusing and it doesn't go on forever.

[Penny P Star]

Yep tantrums started for us at about 15 months. Looking back I can now see that those early "terrible two's" tantrums were shorter and easier to distract from but I could get periods where she would throw a lot close in time.

Now that we are in the thick of terrible twos, the tantrums are much longer and harder to break her out of but more spaced out.. fun times!

[Channy]

Oooooooooooh yes.

We definately have some good ones here too. With hitting or throwing toys too
Some days are great, other days...not so

I have done some time outs. Once after a 30min tantie I just put him in his room for a few minutes, so we both could cool down.

I hate it when I talk about Aidan's tanties and people say "oh, my little Johnny/Mary never had tantrums". or when Aidan is thowing himself on the floor at the shops and people just stare!

[ClaireBear]

I hate it when I talk about Aidan's tanties and people say "oh, my little Johnny/Mary never had tantrums". or when Aidan is thowing himself on the floor at the shops and people just stare!

I always think, "Yeah, right!" when they say that.

People probably just stare thinking that they are pleased it's not them. I know I do. And I would expect other people to do the same to me.

[SEA]

Henry has been chucking some really wobblies lately. If things don't go his way, he starts to yell or say no.

I've found that giving him a couple of choices rather than a whole range or none at all works pretty well ('Would you like peanut butter or Vegemite on your sandwich', rather than 'Would you like a sandwich'). It doesn't give him the opportunity to say no, but still lets him have some say in things.

I'm not enjoying the tantrums, especially the ones in public!

[scary_girl]

Sounds completely normal to me

Zoe has been throwing tantrums for some time now - probably from around the 17 month mark. Nowadays they just make me laugh because seriously they look hilarious! She lies face down on the floor, does a bit of screaming and flaps her arms around - and it is all finished within about 15 seconds. I just step over her and ignore it.

The whining and whinging on the other hand - that frustrates the hell out of me. Hate it!

[~Kristy~]

K started at around 15 months and now at almost 2 its more whinging/whining and saying "no no no" rather than throwing herself on the ground...90% of the time she's my lovely sweet daughter the other 10% im sometimes not quite sure who she is

[bats]

Elka started at about 15 months as well I think. We managed a good 4 this morning in the hour and a half it takes to get ready for day care. Ahhhhh the joys. We've had a couple of meltdowns in public as well.

[Porthos]

I would say Cate started tantruming at about 14 months. I can't believe this but, at first, I thought it was cute What an idiot!!!

Needless to say, the tantrums soon raged out of control and I had a few really shocking months where it was tantrum after tantrum all day every day It was HELL. We had them so many times in public I started to hate leaving the house.

The good news? As soon as Cate started talking, the tantrums diminished rapidly. Yes, she still has them, but they are few and far between now. I actually read in Robin Barker's "The Mighty Toddler" that the worst time for tantrums is between 14 - 24 months for many children - so no, it's not too early for your little one to be chucking a wobbly (or six!).

"This too shall pass" is a brilliant mantra to get you through. Also ignoring your child or removing her from the room (we send Cate to her bedroom) can help calm things down quickly. The times I struggle are when we are out and about - and of course, that's when Cate throws her biggest and best

[Avery]

Thanks ladies - glad to know DD isnt an isolated case

As yet we havent had any throw-myself-on-the-ground type tantrums, but I know they are coming My mum finally saw one yesterday when E didnt want to get out of her carseat. Mum said she was like a wild cat about to scratch her eyes out

[~Emma~]

Oh God, they started here early too!!! Prob around 4 months?
She usualy throws herself on her back, arms and legs flaling and screaming like a banshee!! so embarassing when in public... I usually try to ignore, but when your in the middle of a shopping centre with people everywhere staring and pointing, its hard to ignore, and usually as your trying to stop her, she works herself up even more and its on like donkey kong!!
THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

[nephthys]

I'm sorry but I can only laugh because we're going through it too! If you don't laugh, you lose it too. I was always under the impression the 'terrible twos' started at 18 months and sure enough, on the day DS turned 18 months we got our first public flailing, screaming tantrum.

The level depends on how tired he is too and because it's still early days, I've found a quick distraction takes away most of the smaller ones but I have had to resort to the dummy, blankie and hugs combination on a few occasions to quash some really big ones. So far it hasn't been too bad but I know there are many months between now and then.

Good luck with it!