Being overdue, how did you cope?, Reassurance needed Options

[vpeewee]

Hi Folks,

This post is probably becuase I woke up in a cranky mood this morning so bear with me. I'm overdue, 3 days now, I know its not a long time but I'm starting to get over it really quickly.

I'm sick of having pains at night the waking up in the morning and thinking still no baby, I'm sick of getting phone calls every day with silly jokes from family that it 'can't stay in there forever', I'm sich of my husband asking me every 10 minutes if I'm going to pop yet.

Mostly I'm sick of being worried that its not going to happen naturally and I'll have to be induced (booked to see Dr next Tuesday).

So, for those of you who went overdue, how did you cope with every extra day waiting, wondering and worrying. I was never really worried about the labour (first baby) but now that I've had so much extra time to think about it, all I can think is that something is going to go wrong....

[karry327]

You poor love. It must be hard to go over. I think we focus on the due date and are not mentally prepared if it goes over.

I don't have much advice really but I just wanted to say that I've been induced twice and both times were a great experience - in fact the 2nd was a voluntary induction! So try not to worry about it if it comes to that

[Jaydee]

To be perfectly honest- I didn't cope very well. At all.

When I was pregnant with Levi, both of my SIL's and my sister were pregnant at the same time. They all got pregnant relatively quickly and easily- and then had their babies before me, while I was still waiting. I was watching so many people around me holding their babies and it just didn't seem fair.

And then I went overdue! I had the annoying phone calls, and started answering the phone with "no, I am not in labour yet". I also used to have a lot of painful BH's- and DH would look at me hopefully during each one, and I would shake my head. I was tired. And uncomfortable. I felt like I'd certainly done more than my fair share of waiting to meet my baby and just wanted to hold him in my arms.

The following helped, slightly-

*I had a note stuck up on the fridge that said, "my baby knows how and when to be born."

*I knew I would be induced at 10days over (which I was)- and so I planned SOMETHING for every day that I might possibly go over. While I was kind of hoping Murhpy's Law would kick in it was a nice distraction and I did all the things I knew I wouldn't get to do in a while. DH and I went out for a lovely dinner, I watched a whole DVD without getting up once, I baked something fiddly and complicated....

*I tried the natural induction methods. None of them worked, but it was distracting

*I decided Levi thought I wasn't prepared enough, and that's why I'd gone overdue, so I went out on big shopping sprees

*I would hold my tummy and talk to him- telling him about his family, about our hopes and plans for him, about how loved and wanted he was. And I enjoyed that special, just-the-two-of-us world- where you have your baby all to yourself. You do miss those special little kicks and hiccups.

HTH.

[Renee`]

It is a whirlwind of emotions and when we are given a "due Date' it is hard not to focus on that goal.

You know, the best advice I can give is, now your baby will come out when they are ready. You will never get this time back, this pregnancy, this secret that you have with your bubba, as soon as bubba is out, you will have to share bubba with everyone around you, and although that is beautiful it is a wonderful thing to be the only one who gets to shelter, feed and have that 'secret' or carrying your child.

Enjoy this special time as you near to bringing your child earthside.

[AK2]

Ohhh you poor thing. I was four days overdue when i went into labour (naturally) and every minute was torture. I found when i'd finally stopped thinking about it, someone would call and ask what was going on.

Thing i found helped:

*Blogging! I kept a frequent journal in those last few days, and it was a great oulet for my feelings- and a funny thing to look back on now

*Excercise! Every time i had BH, i would get up and do something active- even if that was at 2am. It was good to get my body moving (distracting too!) and DH & I have great memories now of walking down to 7-Eleven at midnight to get slurpees.

*DH got a new job- so my last two weeks of pregnancy was spent looking for houses, packing & cleaning. That helped distract me!

*I tried heaps of natural labour inducing techniques. I actually went into labour about five hours after we tried one technique, and i like to think it worked...it was something fun to research, anyway.

I know that it sucks now, and everyone is telling you to enjoy the time, and you can't imagine how you possibly could...but you are SO CLOSE to the end now, and very soon you will look back at yourself and laugh about how impatient and crazy you were being

[lizabear]

I got to 11 days over due with induction due on the 12th day.

Its very disaponting getting to your due date and then it goes and goes and goes. I want my baby!


I went out every day and I wandered around the shopping centre hoping the walking would start something and something to do.

Keep yourself occupied and dont dwell on being overdue as that baby is only a few more days or even hours away and knowing you WILL go into labour really any second now is also a very exciting notion!

All the best hun and I hope you don't have to wait too much longer.

And yes it really is annoying getting all the messages and calls. Its nice to know ppl care but it is frustrating as they really dont know the emotions you feel.

[Rosita]

I was the opposite. I had it in my head the whole pregnancy that I would go way over. So much so I had tears in my eyes and told the dr I wasn't ready when I was induced 2 days over. He laughed.

I see the due date like a time for a city rail train, rarely on time smetimes early more then likely late. (and after bub arrives it was definitely a case of stand clear doors closing)

[ClaireBear]

You poor thing! I didn't go overdue as such, but because it was twins, I got it into my head that 35 weeks was plenty. My obs seemed to think so too, so I was very disappointed when 35 weeks came and went. I was full term size by 30 weeks so it was like going 6 weeks over. My boys were born at 36+1 and by this stage I was so uncomfortable that it was hard going to distract myself.

Here is what I did to keep distracted in the last days (that last a week each ).

I got my hair cut and coloured. It was a lovely relaxing time, plus I wasn't sure when it would happen again. I also had a facial and made sure I had my brows shaped and lashes tinted. I ended up with awesome post-birth photos because of this.

I took lots of bubble baths, read books, watched DVD's, slept when I wanted to (it's pointless at the end trying to conform to a day/night schedule. Do what you want, when you want). It will be a long time before you get so much you time again.

Take the phone off the hook or leave an answering machine message saying "Go away. Nothing is happening. Stop asking." That shuts people right up.

I hope it is not too long for you. It's also hard to imagine right now, but in a few short days you will have forgotten all about how awful the last bit was. The power of the female mind is amazing.

xx

[Manda and Madie]

Fantastic Topic!

I really feel for you hun - i HATE it when people are in your face every 5 mins "Any pains" "Any day now" etc

My advice is to keep busy! Shopping, movies etc. I went two days over the day after my due date i decided that the house needed to be cleaned top to bottom and i moved around the entire contents of our house. Everyone said this brought on labour - Im not so sure =/

This time i am very prepared to go over. We fixate (sp?) so much on those due dates. THB i feel like i could give birth any minute down - he feels so much down there its not funny. Some days when i squat down i think if i put my hand down there his head will be popped out. But i still have a LONG time to go

Keep busy! Look at everything BUT babies. I would do heaps of research on renovation stuff (just what im interested ATM), shopping is great, walking is fantastic for bringing on labour, watching a FULL movie, Get your house in order ready for when you and bubba come home, change your bedding so everything is nice and fresh, do a once over in bubs room, scrub the shower out, cook and freeze meals etc.

Sending eviction vibes your way hun xoxox

[RosiePosie]

It's hard isn't it - that illusive due date comes and goes and all the questions and text messages "have you had it yet?" Enough to make one go a little loopy!!

I went 12 days over and while it was annoying, it was also exciting - that anticipation of 'when will it happen?'! I was still pretty comfortable and active so I continued to go out each day, keeping busy. The heat was the only factor that slowed me down (and my swollen kankles!).

I was also induced at 12 days over and had a dream labour/birth (well as dreamy as it can get when you end up with 2nd degree tears!!) but it was quite quick and I managed it well so don't listen to all the induction horror stories you hear.

My advice is to just try to relax and enjoy your sleep in's and doing what you want, when you want. Maybe cook some meals for the freezer. Read magazines cover to cover (in one sitting ). Find some sun and sit in it (expose your boobies if you're game!!).

[atua]

it's great fun isn't it?

i was 9 days over with molly - it would have been easier to bear if my care providers didn't keep changing their minds on what they would do - that was mentally tougher than going over.

i didn't do anything different - we kept going to playgroup etc as normal, i didn't have time to do anything to keep my attention on anything else - i had 6w of prelabour with both molly and the girls so my nights were spent up with intermittent contractions and my days were filled with vomiting and running around after the girls

but yes anything that can distract you is a good thing, i took the phone off the hook and put an auto email reply on my email that ppl would know when the baby was here once she was here - and accepted that she would come when she was ready, the girls had to be shown the door at 37+3 and after weeks of being told i would go early with molly i just accepted she was done when she was done and not before.

hopefully it's not long to go now.

eta...the girls i was induced - it wasn't horrible, just mismanaged pain relief didn't help the situation (nor did the fact they were fighting each other to the exit) and molly was spontaneous after a S&S that morning in my hospital's monitoring unit - otherwise she was being induced the following week.

[Aries]

I had my due date stuck in my head as soon as it was confirmed. I had the added pressure that it was my mums birthday & my great grandmothers birthday as well so a bit of a family tradition.

Well the day came & went and nothing. I felt really disappointed as it was supposed to happen on that day! I actually had a doctors appointment & I felt really strange getting a checkup when I should have been having my baby that day.

My obs said "Confuscious says - fruit will be ready when it is ripe".

Everyday I had phone calls from my parents, IL's & friends wondering if it happened yet. I was getting more & more frustrated with having to say no all the time.

After 10 days my obs induced me & I had Ben the next day.

I know it must be frustating, especially waiting for your body to begin going into labour. I always wonder what would have happened if I had not been induced & how long it would have taken.

Just try & relax & take this time to think about what will happen when you finally hold your bub in your arms. It will happen!

Good luck.

[Thelma]

If people call and ask if you've had the baby yet just say to them sarscastically "oh yeah, I had it about a week ago but I didn't think it important enough to tell you" They'll get the idea that its a stupid question to ask and hopefully not ask you anymore

I get people asking me when I'm due and I just say early November, most people will then try and press for a date and I tell them who knows. Honestly, I've been given about 3 or 4 different dates now anyway so I know there's no point sticking to my 'due date'. Personally, I'm not sure why people are so hung up on an actual date, but maybe thats just me?

[***Jo***]

I went exactly two weeks over with Liam and my phone went crazy. I stopped answering it.

I just told myself that like getting pregnant, I couldn't determine when it would happen and Liam would come when he was good and ready. I rested as much as I could and spent a lot of time with my husband and mum.

The night before I went in to get induced I was so scared and had all these fears running through my mind. Little did I know my induction would take the best part of THREE DAYS and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Because the gel didn't work for me it was actually quite relaxing. I was still in denial it was all happening.

Just let go, relax and re-affirm to yourself that your baby will come - they have to

[Windsor]

My obs said "Confuscious says - fruit will be ready when it is ripe".

Must remember that one!