How do you describe your 'bigger' purchases to DH? Options

[*Lady_R*]

Ahh, a section for meeee……

More of a fun post than anything, and possibly some good words of wisdom that I can pass on to DH.

As the title suggests, I want to know how you explain / justify your ‘bigger’ purchases to your fiancée / husband? What do you say / how do you express it for him to understand? OK, maybe not fully understand (being male and all ), but even just to let you be. Or if you don't explain them, do you openly discuss the topic with him?

We are going on 3 years, yet I still find it difficult to explain my reasoning to him when I get home with, or he see's, certain shopping bags… Admittedly, I don’t go overboard, but in his mind it is still a big thing for me to go spend the larger $$ on a good suit, or a piece of jewellery… Hence this post.

Mine would have to be a combination of quality, status, and want. The way I see it is I would much prefer to go spend that bit extra and have the suit / jewellery / handbag / shoes last me the while, with the added bonus.

Merely because the necklace / top / handbag /shoes is of good quality can not possibly account for the whole logic behind the purchase, other than you 'needed it'. It is not the 1 sole motivation that make you buy the product is it? Let’s face it; ‘status’ is a big margin in our decision making.

So hit me with them. What are your reasonings / opinions on the above?

[Lee Lee]

hmm well DH and I have a wonderful relationship

If I buy something and he asks me why I say because I wanted it.

If he gives me a strange look I say "don't judge me"

But in saying that I am very sensible and have only once gone totally over board

But I am turning my DH into a brand spotter or rather a handbag brand spotter

[AnA927]

To be honest I've never had an issue with my DH.

I make quite a few big purchases and tell him about it. He doesn't mind as he knows I'll only spend if it's within our means...

I should also mention that DH spurges on things as well.

Perhaps that's why he doesn't mind.

[hns]

I like to think I'm my own person, and that if I want something I don't need permission to have it....

[L's Angel]

Anything we buy for ourselves we buy with our own money (we have joint money for household expenses and the rest stays in our own account to spend on whatever we want) so I never need to justify or explain anything. 'Because I wanted it' is enough - And it's all I get from him when he buys anything - If it was purchased with joint money then there may be a need for more justification.

[***Bella***]

Well I think that I must be the nastiest and sneakest person here.

My partner and I have joint bank accounts. My partner is self employeed and works really hard. I work part time and study part time.

He doesn't have anything to do with the money in our bank accounts. I pay the bills, arrange the money for the mortgage and buy lots of clothes and things for myself.
I am even evil enough to complain to him when he buys stuff for himself.

But when I do buy myself clothes I dont generally show him cause then he says "but you already have fifteen pairs of jeans"

Hehe

[{Bunny}]

I don't justify or explain anything. I'll buy whatever I want, when I want H2B knows that I only buy clothes when I need them (just the way I was brought up) If I need a new dress for an event, and a pair of shoes to match said dress and a handbag to match said shoes then I'll buy them I don't buy just because, I don't impulse buy and shopping is not therapeudic (sp?) for me in the slightest!!

[Swarles Barkley]

lol, funny you mention this Lady R, we recently had something similar happen in our house about this.

I brought a new (rather expensive) purse. I justified it with 'it was money i got from the cashback on our printer, and money i had from my birthday sitting there'. And i might have added to it from our spendings account

Bri's comment "did you need a nurse purse" was quickly answered with "no, but i wanted it". He then ranted and raved for 2 minutes going on about how he doesnt get everything he wants, and how i should show more restraint blah blah blah. When he finally finished my comment was "did you NEED the new planner and nail thingy?". He left me alone after that.

So, my response is to think about something he has brought in the recent weeks worth similar money, so that he leaves me alone about my purchases

[KittyKatz]

I organise all money in our household - I prefer to have control of the bills, morgage, savings etc so I know exactly what we have.

So saying that, I will only spend if it's within our means so I'm never questioned. But really, I could end up with 50 new items of clothing in my cupboard, and he'd have no idea they were new But even if he did question me, I'd tell him that I don't need his 'permission ' anyhow!

[Shanina_bobina]

Whilst I am a shopaholic and a follower of fashion.... DH is the one that tends to buy me ridiculously and unnecessarily expensive goods such as jewellery from Tiffany & Co for Christmas, and bags from Oroton for our two year wedding anniversary (and previously "just because"). So, no need for me I guess

Although we do have a joint account for all payments that are joint commitments, we did maintain our own separate accounts for the remainder of our wages. I don't consider that either one of us needs to explain how and when we use our wages that are left over.

[MsGems]

My OH and I have separate accounts and will continue to for quite some time if we can help it!

So most purchases generally go without comment. Sometimes he'll say something, but I tell him that I don't comment where his money goes, so he shouldn't comment about mine

[Windsor]

we have separate spending money as part of our budget but if he ever questions I just mention the x-box...

[JuicyLife]

Cost per wear! Cost per wear! Cost per wear!

It's my mantra!

[pinksweetie]

We dont really argue about our purchases, but DH is usually the big spender. And any arguments we do have are usually light hearted.

He spends way more on his boat and fishing than I do on clothes etc. But he has brought me 2 guess bags in the last year which I am very happy about.

I am turning into a Guess freak and it's all his fault. Im campaigning for a guess watch for christmas!

[***Bella***]

We dont really argue about our purchases, but DH is usually the big spender. And any arguments we do have are usually light hearted.

He spends way more on his boat and fishing than I do on clothes etc. But he has brought me 2 guess bags in the last year which I am very happy about.

I am turning into a Guess freak and it's all his fault. Im campaigning for a guess watch for christmas!

Hey Pink Sweetie,

I was so obsessed with Guess last year. I got a heap of handbags and a few watches. One of them I even got for cheap (can't remember if it was free or maybe half price) from the Sunglass Shop when I got some new sunnies.

My current Guess watch is a really big round face with "diamonds" around the outside and a silver band. I get SOOO many comments about it. Best purchase.
My last one had a square face with black and had a big thick silver chain band. Very different.