Help with family situation!! Options

[shellphil]

Hi all, just wondering if anyone has been/or is going through anything like my situation and if so how you've dealt with it?

My FH and I got engaged in July (I was totally shocked!!) and the families were all equally excited. My Dad offered to hold our engagement party and my parent's house. A couple of weeks later the offer was taken back because Mum and Dad put down new flooring throughout the house and were concerned about having 100 people on their new floor. Then Dad decided to get his nose out of joint with his family (over something totally ridiculous) and told me to take them all off the engagement list. That afternoon my FH and Dad had a disagreement to the point the FH walked out and Dad told him not to come back. They have since sorted things out but things have totally changed between all of us. Even Mum has changed, we used to be close but it's really strained now.

We are now not having the engagement party but we are taking a group of friends out to dinner.

My dilemas are:
- what do I do about the night before the wedding? Originally I had planned to stay at Mum and Dad's.
- do I still get Dad to walk me down the aisle? Actually we're not having an aisle, not sure what we're doing yet as we're getting married in the backyard of our new home. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I'd rather Mum or my brother walk with me or even more so walk on my own!

Sorry to dump all of this on you all, but I need some advice please!!

By the way, we're getting married in July next year.

[Shaz :o)]

Firstly I'd say you all need to take a deep breath and calm down a little bit.

It's a very emotional and stressful thing organising a wedding as I'm sure you're finding out.

Maybe if you sit down and talk with your FH and your Dad you'll sort it out.

I know if it was me I'd regret it forever if I hadn't had my Dad walk me down the aisle because we'd had a disagreement.

You've still got time, try to think positive.

Sorry, probably doesn't help too much. Hang in there, it's all worth it in the end!!

Shaz

[shellphil]

Thanks Shaz.

You are definitely right about calming down. Believe me I have been worse!!

FH and Dad had a really good chat after their disagreement which was good.

I guess my relationship with Dad has never been that great so walking down the aisle with him hasn't been all that big a deal. I've always said that I would do it but would rather Mum walk with me. The only thing is I'd be too scared to do it because I know how Dad would react.

Again, thanks for your input.

Shell

[chava]

Hi Shell

How about both your parents walk you down? then there is no hurt feelings and you get what you wish also?

Just a thought

Cheers
Zara

PS A lot can change in a year - I had a very bad disagreement with my parents (not about the wedding) and things were very strained for a few months, but now they are better than ever

[HappyBunny]

Im glad H2B and your Dad at least had a chat and sorted some stuff out. If you dont want fights if you mum walks you down the isle...why not walk on your own? Be different!!!

[shellphil]

Hi Zara and Lesley

Thanks for you input too.

I think all I can do it wait and see what happens over the next few months and decide closer to the day.

The way my Dad's acting at the moment, I wouldn't be at all suprised if he doesn't come at all!

One good think happened this week though. My brother came over on Wednesday night. We were talking about the night we go out for our engagement dinner with all our friends. My brother has offered, so kind of him, to have any of our friends come back to his house after dinner. I was so happy. He told me that since Mum and Dad had let us (FH and I) down, he didn't want to do the same so that's why he's made the offer. It felt good to know that someone is on our side!!!

Shell

[monkey]

I like the idea of your brother doing it, sounds like he is being great support for you.

It is your day, so chose the person that you want.

[shellphil]

Hi monkey,

I agree about my brother walking with me. My only concern is my Dad's reaction. I have no doubt in my mind that he would crack it enormously, the last thing I need in the lead up to the wedding!!

I think I'll just go with the flow for now.

Shell

[Illy]

If I were in your situation, I would wait a bit longer to decide. You've still got 9 months to go, and situations can change a lot in 9 months! As long as you think you will have somewhere to stay on your pre-wedding night (a sibling or a BM, or at home and kick your H2B out?), but if you decide to stay at a hotel on your pre-wedding night this might be a bit hard - because you might have to book.
As for walking down the isle with whom, I would wait until closer and see what the sitaution with your family is like then.